


The Truth Behind Family

by piteouspeculiarity



Series: Defining Home [3]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Violence, Nightmares, POV TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit is Not Okay (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28464759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piteouspeculiarity/pseuds/piteouspeculiarity
Summary: Tommy loves his new family more than he thought he was capable of loving anything, so why can't he just be normal now?Surprise visits from family members certainly don't help.Stumbling back, he barely registered when the parcel fell to the floor, too busy trying to remember how to breathe.“Tom.” His dad said. “I should have known you’d be here.”Tommy moved to shut the door but was too slow as his dad forced his way into the apartment.“Get out.” His voice shook slightly as he spoke, glancing behind him to see the door to the living room still shut – he wasn’t sure if he wanted to call out for help or not.
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: Defining Home [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2006428
Comments: 541
Kudos: 3581
Collections: Completed stories I've read, Found family to make me feel something, MCYT Fic Rec





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Minor violence, nightmares, swearing, there is a dog :)
> 
> Keep yourselves safe <3
> 
> And a happy new year! Let's do this gamers.

“I don’t understand.” Tubbo said. “Why don’t you just ask them to help you?”

Tommy crossed his arms. “It’s not that simple.”

Rolling his eyes, Tubbo sat down on the floor beside Tommy with a huff. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

“I can’t just _ask_ them.”

“You really could.”

“I really couldn’t.” Tommy uncrossed his arms so he could keep editing. “It’s fine, I’m managing it all. I don’t need their help.”

“No offense.” Tubbo said, about to offend him. “But it doesn’t seem like you do.”

“Bitch.”

“Insulting me isn’t going to distract me.”

Tommy disagreed. “Dickhead.”

“Look, for everyone else we know, YouTube is their full-time job, right?” Tubbo pushed Tommy’s chair so it wheeled away from the computer. “That’s all they do. We have college as well, of course we’d upload less.”

Tommy didn’t _want_ to upload less.

“You stream more than me.”

Tubbo wasn’t having it. “My streams take up so much less energy than yours do and _I_ don’t immediately start editing afterwards.”

“I have editors.” Tommy defended. “I don’t do all the editing.”

“You are literally editing right now.”

“I don’t see your point.” Tommy minimised what he was working on.

Tubbo sighed. “ _Tommy_. _”_

“I’m _fine_ , Tubbo. Stop stressing.” Tommy turned to look at his friend. “What could they even help with anyway? It’s not like I can get them to do my streams or my college work for me.”

“They’re the adults, they’d probably be able to figure something out so you were getting more than a few hours sleep every day.” Tubbo insisted.

Tommy resisted the urge to snort – a few hours was a generous estimate, but he didn’t think telling Tubbo that would help his situation all that much.

He really was fine. He was eating three meals a day thanks to Techno’s insistence, he slept most nights and he was getting all his work done. Tubbo was just overreacting.

“Whatever man, are we recording tonight or not?”

Tubbo sighed again, louder and more dramatic than before. “Fine. But if you die I’m telling everyone at your funeral about this conversation.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to die, fucking hell Tubbo.”

  


Tommy was pretty sure he was dying.

Well, maybe not, but he was definitely going to pass out if he didn’t get out of the kitchen _now_.

The heat was stifling him, permeating every part of his body until he wasn’t sure if he had just melted and become a part of it.

He eyed the front door, wondering if he’d be able to make it and get some fresh air without just collapsing to the floor. He could probably make it, if he tried hard enough.

Phil whistled beside him as he cooked, apparently unaffected by the heat coming from the stove.

Tommy turned his head to see Techno looking at him, ignoring the light-headedness that came with the motion. Techno was mouthing something at him but he couldn’t tell what it was, so he stepped forward, away from his perch on the counter, vaguely registering that Phil had stopped whistling.

He blinked and he was on the floor.

Wilbur’s face was above him, saying something, and Tommy forced himself to listen. “ – you okay?”

“I’m fine.” Tommy said, blinking up at Wilbur. “Warm.”

He took a second to realise his head was in Wilbur’s lap and that the man must have caught him when he fell.

Phil came into view a second later. “Toms? You feeling sick again?”

Tommy shook his head as best he could in Wilbur’s lap. “Kitchen’s too warm, I’m going to go for a walk.”

Techno huffed behind Phil. “You are not going for a walk seconds after passing out. Even I know that’s a bad idea.”

“I’m fine.” Tommy repeated, pushing himself up off the floor and away from Wilbur so he was sitting against the cupboard. “Just need some air.”

“Bullshit.” Wilbur sounded scared, Tommy realised. “Fine people don’t just, suddenly pass out and fucking drop like you did.”

Phil glanced between them. “Come on, let’s move to the living room, it should be a little less warm there and we can talk.”

Tommy stood with Wilbur’s help, blinking away the darkness that creeped into his vision as they walked over to the couch.

Grateful for the chance to sit down, Tommy sighed when he was enveloped by the cushions, the couch seemingly ten times more comfortable than it normally was.

Phil sat next to him. “When was the last time you ate?”

“Lunch. Techno made sandwiches.” Phil looked at Techno for confirmation and Tommy scowled. “I’m not lying.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Phil said, looking back to Tommy. “I just wanted to make sure. When did you last have some water?”

“Literally five minutes ago.” The only reason Tommy didn’t roll his eyes was because he thought he might just fall asleep if he tried. “You saw me.”

It had been one of his last-ditch attempts to not pass out on the kitchen floor.

Phil hummed. “How much did you sleep last night?”

Tommy kept his eyes trained on the floor. “I, uh, skipped sleeping last night.”

“You skipped it?” Wilbur asked. “As in you didn’t sleep?”

Tommy shrugged and Techno narrowed his eyes at him. “When was the last time you slept?”

Tommy took a moment to try and remember – he hadn’t slept yesterday but he must have slept the day before, right? “Day before yesterday, I think.”

“I thought teenagers were supposed to always sleep.” Techno turned to Phil. “Aren’t teenagers supposed to always be sleeping?”

Phil let out a small laugh. “You’d think so.”

Wilbur looked between them. “We’re making him go to bed right? That’s what we’re doing?”

“Yes Wil, that’s what we’re doing.” Phil reassured before turning his attention to Tommy. “But we will be talking about this after you’ve slept.”

Tommy’s stupid sleep deprived brain spoke before he could stop it. “Am I in trouble?”

Phil smiled at him. “No mate, we just need to figure out a way to stop this from happening again.”

“Promise?” Tommy asked, leaning into Phil.

“I promise.” Phil stood up, pulling Tommy up with him. “Come on, bedtime.”

Tommy hummed in place of answering, resting most of his weight on Phil.

The walk to his bedroom was slow but Tommy didn’t mind, enjoying the free hug he was getting from Phil the whole time. He considered passing out more often just so he’d have an excuse to get more free hugs, but thought that Phil maybe wouldn’t be the biggest fan of that idea.

Before he knew it, he was in his bed and Wilbur was meticulously tucking him in while Phil stroked his hair away from his forehead.

“Go to sleep Toms.” Phil whispered. “We’ll talk later.”

Tommy couldn’t fight against the drowsiness anymore and before long, he was fast asleep.

  


When he woke up, the sun was rising and he had to take a second for the disorientation to fade away as he remembered what had happened.

He’d passed out. In front of everyone. And now they were going to ‘talk’.

Groaning loudly, he pressed his hands into his eyes. “Fuck.”

With a sigh, he stood, feeling far less dizzy than he had before and not happy about it. It would have been easy to argue with Phil if he didn’t feel any better after sleeping, but he _did_ and that was incredibly annoying.

He left his room, walking downstairs and pausing before he entered the living room. All three of the others were there, chatting as they ate breakfast.

Tommy entered, waving awkwardly at them. “Morning.”

“Good morning.” Phil smiled. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah.” Tommy admitted.

“Sleeping for the first time in days would do that.” Wilbur said.

Techno rolled his eyes at Wilbur. “Ignore him. There’s a plate for you in the microwave.”

Tommy nodded and went to get the plate, shouting over his shoulder when he saw how much there was. “I can’t eat all of this.”

“You missed dinner.” Techno replied. “Therefore you get double the breakfast.”

“Just eat as much as you can.” Phil said.

Tommy rolled his eyes but sat down in between Phil and Techno and started eating.

Wilbur leaned forward from his spot on the chair to look around Phil. “So _why_ did you not sleep for days?”

Tommy finished his mouthful. “I was busy.”

“Busy?” Phil questioned. “Anything we can help with?”

Tommy shook his head. “I needed to edit these videos before the weekend and a few people wanted me to appear in their videos and they couldn’t do it until late in the night so I had to stay up for those anyway. Oh, and I had a big essay due on Friday which I had to do.”

“Right, okay.” Phil nodded slowly. “Why were you editing?”

“Larry’s on holiday.” Tommy defended. “And the video needed to be done.”

“We could have helped, if you wanted.” Phil said.

“Yeah, we’ve edited a couple things in our time, you know.” Wilbur added. “It might not have been exactly what you wanted but you would’ve been able to sleep, at least.”

Tommy stared at his food. “I know, I just didn’t want to bother you with it when I could do it myself.”

“You wouldn’t have been bothering us.” Phil insisted, nudging Tommy’s shoulder with his own. “I like editing.”

“Are you sure?” Tommy asked hesitantly, he didn’t want Phil to feel like he had to just to make Tommy’s life easier.

“Very sure.” Phil said firmly. “Just promise me that you’ll talk to us next time if you think that you won’t be able to sleep for some reason, we can work something out.”

“Okay.” Tommy said, smiling. “I promise.”

“Tommy,” Techno said suddenly, “I’m sorry I didn’t realise you weren’t sleeping.”

Turning to him, Tommy scrunched up his nose. “Don’t apologise, I hid it from you.”

“Still, I should have been able to –“

“Stop being an idiot.” Grinning, Tommy rolled his eyes. “God, why am I the only smart one in this house.”

“Fuck you.” Wilbur said. “I’m smart.”

“I’m Wilbur and I know flags and shit.” Tommy mocked. “Shut up.”

Wilbur narrowed his eyes. “The second you finish your breakfast I am making you regret your words.”

“Do you hear that Phil?” Tommy said between bites. “Wil’s going to attack me.”

Techno hummed. “He didn’t say that, actually, he just implied it.”

Standing up, Phil laughed at them. “I’m going to go start putting things in the dishwasher.”

“No wait, you’re my only defence.” Tommy shrieked, looking between Techno and Wilbur. “You can’t just leave me here alone.”

Wilbur’s evil cackle drowned out Phil’s reply.

* * *

“He’s so cute.” Wilbur said. “How?”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “He’s _my_ dog, of course he’s cute.”

Wilbur was too busy making faces at the puppy to argue but Techno wasn’t. “Don’t let him trick you, he’s actually a huge fan of anarchy.”

“You’ve started to corrupt him already?” Phil asked, crouching down to play with the puppy with Wilbur.

“Someone had to.” Techno defended, crossing his arms. “Everyone he’s met has just fallen in love with him, it’s embarrassing.”

Tommy laughed. “You say that, but I heard you whispering to him earlier.”

“Stop talking.”

“Oh Barney, you’re the best boy.” Tommy mocked. “No one loves you more than me.”

Wilbur nodded, a shit eating grin on his face. “That does sound like something Techno would say.”

“I hate you all.” Throwing himself onto the couch, Techno shut his eyes. “I’m going to sit here and pretend none of you exist.”

Phil laughed. “How long is the training supposed to take?”

“At least six months.” Tommy answered when Techno stayed silent. “But it could be much longer.”

He’d been unsure at first, when Phil had brought up the idea of a support dog to him – he was _fine_ , he didn’t need help or something – but the longer he’d thought about it the nicer it sounded.

The conversation he’d had with Wilbur had helped too. The man had told him in a very no-nonsense way that he thought Tommy was being stupid and that in the end, anything extra the dog could do wasn’t exactly going to hurt. It had been that that had convinced Tommy, though perhaps not for the reasons Wilbur had wanted – his dog was going to be the smartest dog in the whole world and he was going to hold it over everyone.

He missed his old dogs, but he knew they were safe at his parents’ house. The love for his dad had for them had always been obvious, there was no chance he would even think about hurting them.

Bitterness clung to Tommy when he thought about how easy it had been for his dad to hurt him.

He looked down to see Wilbur laying on his back on the floor, Barney on his chest, enthusiastically licking his face.

Phil watched them with a smile. “You picked him up yesterday right? How’d that go?”

Tommy shrugged, leaning against the wall. “It went okay. The lady said he was the last one last of his litter.”

He and Techno had driven for thirty minutes just to get to Barney but it had been more than worth it when it meant Tommy got to spend the thirty minutes back with Barney on his lap. He was pretty sure that it meant he was Barney’s favourite now – they’d bonded.

“I’m kidnapping him.” Wilbur said, sitting up so Barney was sitting in his lap instead of licking his face. “He’s mine now.”

“You’d have to fight Techno for him.” Tommy replied. “He’s pretty attached.”

Wilbur hummed, bumping his nose with Barney’s. “I’ll just move in with you then.”

“It’s not like that would change much, you’re there half the time anyway.” Not that Tommy was complaining, it was nice to have Phil and Wilbur around so often. “The only reason we’re not all there today is because you were too lazy to drive over.”

Wilbur took his eyes off Barney for half a second to glare at Tommy. “My car broke down.”

“Excuses, excuses.” Tommy said, sharing a grin with Phil.

“That doesn’t –“ The doorbell ringing cut off Wilbur’s reply. “Can someone else get that? It’s probably just the neighbours collecting their parcel.”

Tommy nodded. “Sure, where’s the parcel?”

“On the floor next to the front door.” Wilbur said, already being distracted by Barney. “You can’t miss it.”

Tommy left the living room, shutting the door behind him so Barney couldn’t run out.

Opening the front door, he leaned down to pick up the parcel.

“Morning.” Tommy greeted cheerfully, standing straight and checking the name on the parcel. “Mrs Porter?”

He looked up when the person didn’t respond, the smile falling off his face when their eyes met. Stumbling back, he barely registered when the parcel fell to the floor, too busy trying to remember how to breathe.

“Tom.” His dad said. “I should have known you’d be here.”

Tommy moved to shut the door but was too slow as his dad forced his way into the apartment.

“Get out.” His voice shook slightly as he spoke, glancing behind him to see the door to the living room still shut – he wasn’t sure if he wanted to call out for help or not.

His dad ignored him. “So you found new people to leech off of? Why am I not surprised?”

“That’s not what - they don’t –“

“Whatever, I’m not here to hear your excuses.”

Suddenly angry, Tommy drew himself up to his full height. “Oh yeah, why are you here then? Because I have a feeling it’s not because you finally realised that you’re a shitty person.”

“You will treat me with respect or you will find yourself regretting it.” His dad seethed, stepping forward.

Tommy flinched back on instinct but forced himself to stand tall. “Try it and see what happens, I’m not here alone.”

“And?” His dad sneered. “What do you think they’re going to do?”

Doubt tinged Tommy’s thoughts and he glanced at the door again, catching sight of the photo Wilbur had insisted he put up. It wasn’t framed and was held there by tape, despite Phil warning that it would take paint off the walls, but it was of the four of them, when Tommy had still been staying with Wilbur.

It was from when they’d been helping Wilbur set up his new camera – well, Phil had been helping, Tommy and Techno had been busy trying to convince Wilbur he’d gone bald. It had been on the wrong mode and had started taking pictures, catching a moment of Phil looking at the three of them as they argued, a fond smile on his face.

Wilbur had chanted ‘Dadza’ when he saw it and decided to force the rest of them to look at it whenever they visited him.

Tommy had protested then, but now it gave him the strength he needed to call out. “Guys! Can you uh, come here a minute?”

A few seconds of silence passed and his dad pushed out his chest. “See, I told you –“

The door to the living room opened and Tommy blew out a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding.

Techno was the first to come through, speaking before he saw their guest. “Wil is refusing to separate himself from Barney, so - Tommy get behind me.”

Sighing in relief, Tommy moved to do as he was told but was stopped by hand gripping his arm and pulling him away from Techno.

Tommy yelped before he could help himself. “Let go of me.”

Phil appeared next to Techno. “I’m calling the police.”

“No wait!” Tommy said. “We don’t need the police.”

Wilbur came around the corner, holding Barney in his arms. “Why are we calling the police?”

Phil gestured to Tommy and his dad. “That’s why.”

“I see.” Wilbur scowled and put Barney behind the living room door, shutting it carefully so as not to trap his tail. “Or Techno could just punch the fucker again, that worked last time.”

The grip on his arm tightened and Tommy whimpered without meaning to, the pain overwhelming for a second. He’d gotten so used to not being in pain that now a single grip on his arm was too much for him to cope.

“I just need to talk to Thomas for a second.” His dad said, pulling on his arm so they were out of Wilbur’s apartment. “That’s all.”

His dad was nervous, Tommy realised over Wilbur’s shrieks for him to be let go, he was actually worried about what the others could do.

“No.” Tommy said, refusing to move his feet, standing in the doorway. “Whatever you want to say to me, they can hear too.”

His dad growled. “I am your father, you will do as I say.”

His ‘father’. As if the man in front of him was the one that had picked him up from college the other day, or the person that had looked after him when he was sick, or was so worried about him having three meals a day that he had timers go off.

He was none of those things, none of those people and Tommy felt rage claw at his throat because he’d missed out on that for sixteen years. Sixteen years had gone by before he’d known what it felt like to be cared for and that wasn’t _fair_.

“Maybe I would if you fucking acted like one.” Tommy shouted, anger spilling out of him.

He hadn’t shouted at his dad before, and he knew it was only that that had allowed him to get away, shock loosening the grip on his arm and allowing him to tear himself free, practically running to stand next to Wilbur, behind Phil and Techno.

Wilbur put an arm around his shoulder and it was only then that Tommy realised how fast he was breathing. He wasn’t sure if it were out of fear or anger.

Phil stepped forward. “Why are you here?”

“I just wanted to tell the brat to stop getting parcels delivered to my house.” The man sneered. “It’s starting to upset my wife.”

Parcels? Who would be sending him –

Oh fuck. Dream.

Months ago, he’d given Dream his address so he could get free merch and the man didn’t know about everything that had happened since then.

“Did you bring them with you?” Tommy asked, shrugging off Wilbur’s arm to stand between Techno and Phil and look around the doorway. He couldn’t see anything but they could just be in the car.

His dad scoffed. “No, they went straight in the bin. If you wanted them you should have been there to get them.”

Tommy stared at him in disbelief. “You kicked me out.”

“If you weren’t such a waste of space you wouldn’t have been kicked out in the first place.”

Maybe months ago Tommy would have believed him. Maybe on that first night when he’d been waiting for a train, when he’d been counting out his money and trying to find a way to make it last, when he’d been desperately trying to imagine a future for himself.

Maybe then.

But not now.

His life had changed since then – _he_ had changed since then. Streaming was no longer about having an excuse to ignore his parents for a couple of hours a night, he wasn’t coming home from college with bruises and then going back the next day with even more, there wasn’t a constant worry in the back of his mind about where his parents were.

No. He had a family now – a _real_ family. Not the mockery of one he’d been born into.

Phil was speaking, but Tommy laughed over him, running a hand across his face. “Fuck you.”

Still laughing, he turned around and opened the door to the living room, picking Barney up as he tried to run out and shutting the door behind him.

The others could deal with his dad, Tommy didn’t want to anymore.

He sat down on the couch, laughter coming to an abrupt stop. On his lap, Barney curled up, apparently content to sit still now that he had someone with him. Tommy petted him, coming to terms with what had just happened.

He sighed, trying to focus on how soft Barney’s fur was instead of listening to the voices just outside the door. He looked up when the door opened, soothing Barney when he perked up at the sound.

“Hey Wil.” Tommy greeted quietly. “What’s happening?”

Wilbur sat beside him. “Phil’s going off, the usual.”

Tommy hummed.

“Just so you know,” Wilbur started, “That was really cool of you. Very pog.”

The words startled a laugh out of him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Wilbur nodded. “He doesn’t deserve any more of your time, you know?”

“I know.” And for the first time, Tommy thought that he really did.

He heard the front door slam and watched as Phil and Techno came into the living room. He put Barney on the floor before standing up, pulling on Wilbur’s arm so he followed, and walking over to Phil and Techno.

“What happened?” Tommy asked, biting his lip.

Techno huffed. “Let’s just say he won’t be coming back.”

Tommy grinned. “Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Phil said. “I think he was seconds away from pissing his pants.”

Laughing, Tommy let go of Wilbur and threw an arm around each of them, forcing them into a hug.

Phil chuckled but hugged him back tightly. “I’m proud of you mate, it must have taken guts to do what you did.”

Tommy shrugged as much as he could trapped between the two of them. “I just walked away.”

“Which can be the hardest thing to do.” Techno said, squeezing him. “Trust me.”

“Alright.” Tommy agreed softly, because if there was one thing he could do, it was trust Techno.

Wilbur sighed loudly behind them. “I can’t believe I’m being excluded from the dramatic family hug.”

Tommy pulled back to share a grin with Phil and Techno. They all turned to face Wilbur at the same time, pausing just long enough to see the regret on his face before they attacked him, forcing them all to the ground with the force of it.

Tommy laughed over the sound of Wilbur’s groaning and Barney’s barking.

It wasn’t hard to imagine his future anymore.

  


Darkness surrounded him, clinging to his body as he tried to fight off, slowly losing sense of what was him and what was not.

He stepped forward and his foot fell through the floor, his whole body following, tumbling off the edge of the night, ripping him away from the darkness and into the light.

The pale walls of his old bedroom surrounded him, mocking him. Tommy opened his mouth to shout at them, to demand why he was there when Wilbur’s voice caught his attention.

“It was nice while it lasted Tommy.” Wilbur crossed his arms, leaning against the wall.

Tommy whirled around when Techno started speaking behind him. “It was unrealistic to think we could just kidnap a child and get away with it, you were always going to have to go back at some point.”

Techno walked around Tommy to where Wilbur and Phil were waiting at the door.

Tommy tried to move, to shout for them to stay, but couldn’t, stuck standing and gaping at them.

Phil shook his head. “Oh well, we can still call sometimes, it’s not really that big of a deal.”

Techno snorted. “It’ll be nice to finally have some peace and quiet anyway.”

“Not in front of him.” Phil scolded. “You know he’s sensitive.”

Wilbur laughed at them. “Anyway, bye Tommy.”

Everything in him was screaming to move as he watched all three of them walk out, the door clicking shut behind them. The moment it shut, his limbs unfroze and he scrambled over, desperately pulling on the handle of the door, fighting to open it.

At last, it opened, and he practically fell over in his haste to go through, only realising he was in the kitchen when he ran into a counter. He stumbled back, unexplained fear coursing through his body, his heart racing so fast he thought he might be having a heart attack.

There was a sudden, familiar pain in his face and he raised his arms to block the next punch, tripping over his own feet and falling to the ground. Shocked, he looked up, meeting his dad’s eyes.

“Get out.” His dad seethed, but Tommy’s attention was focused on the blood covering his fist, Tommy’s blood. “If I see your face again I won’t be responsible for what I do.”

Tommy stayed still and his dad stepped forward, grabbing a knife from the counter and driving it down. It was coming closer and closer and Tommy lunged out of the way but he wasn’t fast enough, it was going to get him and he was going to die and he wouldn’t get to see his friends again and –

And with a terrified gasp he was awake, fighting against his bedsheets, but awake and not there, alive and not on the verge of death.

He forced himself to still, to put his forehead on his knees and focus on his breathing. It was too fast, he knew that, he could fix that.

Was it eight seconds he was supposed to hold his breath for? Or was that breathing in? Was there someone in the room with him? He had to be quieter or someone would hear and –

Hands shaking, he ripped his bedsheets away, standing up on weak legs and frantically flicking the light switch on with his back to the wall.

He relaxed a miniscule amount. There was no one in his room with him – of course there wasn’t.

He took stock of the room, forced himself to note the differences between it and his old bedroom.

The window was larger for one, taking up almost half of a wall and his bed, his bed was in a different place, no longer across the room from the door, but next to it.

Fuck, he was such an idiot, getting so worked up over a stupid nightmare.

He glanced at his door, considering. Everyone had decided to stay over and although Wilbur had said it was just so they could go to the beach straight away in the morning but Tommy knew it was at least partly because they had been worried about him after the confrontation yesterday.

He could just try and go back to sleep, but Wilbur’s unofficial room was just next door and Tommy really didn’t want to be alone much longer.

His feet were moving before he’d already made the decision and he breathed a sigh of relief when his bedroom door opened without any trouble. The walk to Wilbur’s room was a short one and only seconds later he was standing outside it, knocking quietly.

For a second he thought he’d been too quiet and debated with himself on the merits of just going back to his room or trying Phil instead, when he heard someone walking on the other side of the door.

He stepped back a little before the door could open, staring down at his feet, suddenly uncertain on whether it had been a good idea to wake Wilbur up during the middle of the night.

“Tommy?” Wilbur yawned. “What time is it?”

Tommy shifted, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t know.”

He watched out the corner of his eye as Wilbur sighed and leaned over, grabbing his phone. “It’s two in the morning. Why are you waking me up at two in the morning?”

Tommy shrugged, feeling Wilbur’s eyes studying him.

“Oh.” Wilbur said, sounding like he’d just had the biggest realisation of his life. “Did you have a nightmare?”

Not liking the tone of his voice, Tommy crossed his arms. “No.”

“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that.” Wilbur insisted, hiding another yawn behind his hand.

“Like what?”

“Like it’s a bad thing.” Tommy could hear the grin in his voice. “It’s just, there are three people in this house and you came to me after you had a nightmare, it’s very cute.”

Tommy groaned. “I can’t believe you, I’m leaving.”

Despite his words, he didn’t move to go back to his own bedroom, pushing past Wilbur to go into his bedroom instead.

“Does this mean I’m your favourite?”

“It means your bedroom is the closest to mine.” Tommy corrected, looking out of the window.

Sitting down on his bed, Wilbur ignored him, patting the spot beside him. “Come on, sit here and tell big brother Wil all about your bad dream.”

“I hate you so much.” Tommy sat on the bed. “So, so much.”

Slinging an arm around Tommy’s shoulders, Wilbur hummed. “Sure you do.”

“It’s stupid.”

“You think that’s going to scare me off? Do you know how much stupid shit I’ve heard from you?” Wilbur pulled the blanket over their heads, ignoring Tommy’s confused look.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Tommy asked, pulling his knees to his chest.

Wilbur rolled his eyes. “I’m making it cosy, obviously.”

“Obviously.” Tommy hugged his knees, realising how much calmer he was already. “You wouldn’t let me go back, would you?”

Wilbur breathed out harshly. “Never.”

“Not even if you were forced to?”

“You couldn’t force me.” Wilbur shook his head. “No one could.”

Tommy nodded, leaning into Wilbur. “Okay.”

Even if he already knew, it was nice to hear.

Tommy tilted his head when he heard two sets of footsteps approach Wilbur’s bed. Peeking out from under the covers, he waved at Phil and Techno. “Hello.”

“Are we having a sleepover?” Phil asked, already joining them under the covers.

“Something like that.” Wilbur replied, squeezing Tommy.

Phil gestured for Techno to also sit under the covers with them and he did with a sigh. “And you’re sitting like this because?”

“It’s cosy.” Tommy grinned at Wilbur.

Wilbur laughed and Tommy took a moment to appreciate the three of them, however ridiculous they looked with the bed covers sitting on top of their heads.

He was so lucky to have made it to them.

“What’s on your mind Toms?” Phil asked after a few moments of silence.

“Nothing bad.” Tommy smiled back. “I just - Techno?”

“Yes?” Techno responded with far more patience than Tommy would have expected for a conversation in the middle of the night.

Tommy bit his lip, suddenly nervous. He’d gotten used to asking for things and getting them, but this wasn’t like asking Techno to buy a different kind of butter, this was different.

He mentally prepared to explain himself. “I want self-defence lessons.”

“Alright.”

Tommy only barely stopped himself from gaping at Techno. “Alright?”

“It makes sense. Besides,” Techno shrugged, “I’d feel better with you taking all of those evening walks if you knew how to defend yourself.”

“Oh.” Someday Techno would stop surprising him, but not today.

Phil leaned forward. “We want you to be safe Tommy – to feel safe too. It’s important.”

Tommy hid his face in his knees and Wilbur squeezed him to his side with a small laugh. “Love you Toms.”

“Love you too.” Tommy raised his head to look at Phil and Techno. “All of you.”

Phil reached forward and ruffled his hair with a smile. “And we love you. Now come on, who wants hot chocolate?”

Techno made a face. “We don’t have any.”

“I bought some and put in your cupboard the other week.” Phil said, standing up. “Everyone should own emergency hot chocolate.”

“Did you get marshmallows?” Tommy asked, narrowing his eyes at Phil.

“Duh.”

Tommy grinned, bouncing up off the bed. “Oh good, otherwise I would have had to disown you.”

Wilbur followed him, leaving Techno as the only one under the bed covers. “That’s not how it works.”

“You’re disowned now.” Tommy decided, walking past Wilbur to follow Phil. “Bye.”

Techno’s laughter echoed behind them and Tommy knew that the warmth in his chest had nothing to do with the heating Wilbur had insisted they put on, and everything to do with the people around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Thank you for all of your support on the other two parts of the series, it's been a huge motivation to keep writing!
> 
> You can come find me on Tumblr [@piteouspeculiarity](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/piteouspeculiarity) if you'd like to talk :)
> 
> I hope the new year treats all of you well, I think we deserve a break after 2020. It's not going to be easy, but a fresh start is important, and we can do this <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's still feeling unsettled after his nightmare but decides he's still fine to go the beach like they'd planned. 
> 
> He has fun, until he doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Panic attacks, shouting, swearing. 
> 
> Nothing too awful this chapter but keep yourselves safe <3
> 
> Smaragdine. Yoghurt. Polynomial. 
> 
> Huge thanks to Kat for being the main reason this got written in the last week and not a few months from now. AND ALSO FOR PROOF READING THIS FOR ME SO I COULD POST IT! EVERYONE GIVE KAT A ROUND OF APPLAUSE, WE STAN <33

“Boop!” Wilbur said, pressing his finger to Barney’s nose.

Tommy stared at him with disbelief. “Why are you like this?”

Wilbur stood up straight from where he’d been bent over to play with Barney. “You are my least favourite sixteen year old.”

“Oh yeah?” Tommy said, raising his chin, a grin already tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You know a lot of sixteen year olds?”

Grabbing a blue coat from the hooks by the door and passing it to Tommy, Phil looked like he was holding back laughter. “Come on, let’s get going before the weather decides to take a turn for the worst.”

Techno shared a look with Tommy, before they both dissolved into a fit of chuckles.

“You’re so old.” Tommy wheezed out, shrugging on his coat.

Phil sighed but Tommy could see the smile on his face as he clipped Barney’s lead to his collar. “If you keep that up I won’t be buying you any ice cream.”

Tommy narrowed his eyes. “You’re lying.”

“Maybe.” Phil grinned. “But do you want to risk it?”

Clapping his hands, Tommy took the lead from Phil. “Let’s get going everyone in case the sky decides to piss on us!”

Wilbur wrinkled his nose. “That’s not an image I wanted.”

“Yeah me neither.” Phil said. “Ice cream might have to wait, I’m feeling a little ill because of that.”

“Techno you’re buying me ice cream.” Tommy declared, opening the front door.

“Only if I get to pick the flavour.”

“Deal.” Tommy grinned at Techno. “Ha, you just got scammed.”

Wilbur walked up to Tommy, ruffling his hair and slinging an arm over his shoulders. “I’d rethink that one if I were you Toms.”

“I don’t care if he picks a bad flavour.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “Free ice cream is still free ice cream, idiot.”

“Child.”

“Asshole.”

“Children.” Phil interrupted, catching up to them with Techno by his side. “The beach is the other way.”

A quick glance around told Tommy that Phil was absolutely right, not that he’d be admitting to going the wrong way. “Barney said he wanted to take the scenic route.”

“I don’t remember Barney being able to speak.” Techno said, raising an eyebrow.

Wilbur scoffed. “Well obviously that’s because Barney doesn’t want to talk to you, he talks to me and Tommy all the time.”

“Exactly.” Tommy agreed. “He tells me all the secrets you tell him.”

With a long sigh, Techno turned his back to them and looked at Phil. “Can we stay at home and let them go to the beach themselves? Please?”

Laughing, Phil shook his head. “Sorry mate, I promised myself I’d go to stop Wil from eating sand.”

“There isn’t any sand at this beach.” Wilbur said. “It’s all stupid pebbles.”

Tommy pulled on Barney’s leash to stop him from walking into the road. “Is that because you ate all of the sand?”

Phil buried his face in his hands as Wilbur replied. “Legally I’m not allowed to answer that question.”

“Really Wil?” Techno said in a mock disappointed voice. “You should know better than to take it all at once.”

“Yeah, that’s bad for the economy.” Tommy added. “Can’t believe you’d do this to all the other sand eaters out there.”

Walking away, in the actual direction of the beach this time, Phil had clearly had enough sand talk. The three of them grinned at each other before rushing to catch up, Tommy stumbling only a little as Barney ran between his feet.

“It’s okay Phil.” Wilbur reassured. “I’m sure we can find you some sand if you feel like you’re missing out.”

“I’m –“ Phil shook his head. “No thanks, Wil.”

Smiling as Wilbur continued to try to convince Phil to eat sand, Tommy took a moment to breathe in the fresh air. He’d insisted earlier that they went through with their plans to go to the beach, but he was honestly not feeling quite as normal as he’d said after his nightmare earlier that morning.

It wasn’t an obvious thing, not at all, but he just felt off, like he was reacting to the world a millisecond too late. Maybe he was just tired.

It was easy to ignore though, with everyone doing their best to cheer him up.

  


When they finally arrived at the beach – no Techno, they hadn’t gotten lost, be quiet – Tommy found himself sat down on a bench, thoroughly confused.

“What’s up, Tommy?” Phil said from his left.

Tommy sighed. “I just don’t get what we’re supposed to be doing.”

“Hanging out, getting some fresh air.” Bumping their shoulders together, Phil smiled at Tommy. “Nothing complicated.”

“But why couldn’t we do that from home?” Tommy whined, slumping down on the bench and watching as Barney pulled on his lead to get closer to a seagull. “Open a window and watch a film?”

Techno laughed. “Finally, someone who understands.”

Wilbur walked over to them from where he’d been taking a picture of the sea and started tugging insistently on Tommy’s hands. “Stand up and take your shoes off.”

Tommy stayed firmly sat down. “I’m good not doing that, thanks though.”

“Just do it.” Wilbur insisted. “I promise it’ll be fun.”

Tommy looked at Phil for help, but the man just nodded at him, so with a huff, Tommy took his shoes off and stood up, handing Phil Barney’s lead.

“And your socks.” Phil said, apparently knowing far more about what was going on than Tommy did.

“But then my feet will hurt.” Crossing his arms, Tommy turned to Techno. “Right Techno?”

Techno held his hands up. “Don’t look at me, I don’t know anything.”

Steadying himself with one hand on Wilbur’s arms, Tommy hopped around as he took his socks off, stuffing them into his shoes.

“Now what?” Tommy said, somewhat sarcastically. “I’m half-naked, what’s next?”

“I’ll look after all our stuff and Barney.” Phil said, ignoring both Tommy and Wilbur’s spluttering. “You boys go have fun.”

Staying silent, Techno didn’t move as if that would make Tommy forget how the other hadn’t stopped this from happening in the first place.

He pulled on Techno’s hands like Wilbur had to him. “Come on Techno, let’s go and have fun.”

“I can just keep Phil company.” Techno said, but it was clear he knew he was going to lose the battle.

Phil shook his head with a grin. “You go on mate, I’ll take pictures from here.”

“I was not planning on getting wet today.” Techno groaned, removing his shoes and socks like Tommy had and rolling up his jeans. “I thought we were going to have a nice walk and make Phil buy us ice cream.”

“What do you mean getting –“

“Oh well!” Wilbur chirped, cutting Tommy off. “Tommy give Phil your phone.”

Suspicions rising, Tommy held very tightly onto his phone in his pocket. “I don’t want to.”

Holding his hand out, Phil chuckled. “Trust me, Toms, you’ll be much more annoyed if you keep your phone on you.”

Tommy narrowed his eyes and hesitantly took his phone out of his pocket. “Phil, I’m trusting you.”

“You’ll be fine, promise.” Phil said, taking the phone. “Wil wouldn’t do anything that would hurt you.”

“Well…” Wilbur drawled out, yelping when Techno pushed him.

Tommy rolled his eyes, content that Phil was telling him the truth. “Where are we going then?”

“Techno,” Wilbur started, and Tommy was really starting to get annoyed at how he kept being ignored, “How do you feel about dragging a child into the ocean?”

The grin Techno answered with was terrifying.

Tommy backed away slowly, raising his hands. “I’m sure there’s another fun thing we can do that doesn’t involve freezing water.”

“Too bad.” Wilbur walked forward, Techno by his side. “Techno, you ready?”

“I’ve been waiting for this moment for years.”

Turning on the heel of his foot, Tommy started running, shrieking when barely seconds later he was caught around the middle.

“Let me go.” He could barely talk through his laughter, half-heartedly kicking at Techno’s legs as he was not so gracefully dragged closer and closer to the ocean. “I’m serious.”

“Sorry Tommy, the situation is out of my hands.” Techno said, clearly grinning.

“How did you get so strong sitting around farming fake video game potatoes? How is this fair?” Tommy whined as the water grew dangerously close.

Wilbur walked next to them with all the casualness of someone who didn’t give a fuck about the imminent revenge Tommy was about to take. “We’ve talked about this Tommy, Techno isn’t strong, you’re just a stick in human form.”

Tommy didn’t have time to defend himself before Techno was walking backwards into the water, dragging Tommy after him.

It was so fucking cold, numbing his feet almost instantly and Tommy once again questioned why exactly they’d chosen to go to the beach in the middle of November.

He jumped away when he felt something slimy touch his feet, only then realising that Techno had released him. The water went up to his knees now and when he looked at where Wilbur stood a few metres away from the water, he started seriously considering murder.

“Techno.” He muttered, hopefully quiet enough that Wilbur wouldn’t be able to hear him. “Out of the three of us, there appears to be an odd one out.”

The way Techno’s head snapped to look at Wilbur made the man step back warily.

Tommy clapped his hands together. “Wil, why aren’t you joining in in the fun?”

“I’m having plenty of fun.” Wilbur denied. “Not all of us are feral children that need to be thrown into the ocean to get enjoyment out of something.”

Laughter danced through the air as he and Techno rushed forward, Wilbur not able to get more than a few steps away before he was being dragged into the ocean, Tommy pulling on one of his arms and Techno on the other.

It was easy to keep going until the water was reaching Wilbur’s thighs, already thoroughly covering Tommy and Techno to their waists. Tommy wasn’t sure he’d stopped laughing the whole time, even if he was half frozen and his shorts were soaked through.

Techno was staring at his legs with something similar to grief. “I rolled them up and everything, how has this gone so wrong?”

“Gee I wonder.” Wilbur said, sarcasm coating his words. “Maybe it was when you decided to involve the innocent.”

Techno surveyed the area around them, eyes easily passing over Tommy and Wilbur. “I see no innocents here.”

Tommy wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop grinning if he tried, so he didn’t.

“Hey, bitch!” He shouted to Wilbur, even though the man was still in arm’s reach.

“Wha—”

Wilbur turned to face him and Tommy brought his hands down into the water, successfully splashing Wilbur from head to toe. Wilbur spluttered as some got in his mouth and Tommy had to lean on Techno to stop himself from falling over and accidentally drowning.

He could feel Techno shaking with his own silent laughter and it was not helping Tommy calm himself.

“Here’s an idea.” Wilbur said, and Tommy did _not_ like the smile that was forming on his face. “How about adults against annoying teenagers?”

“But where will I go?” Tommy asked, grinning. “I’m not an adult _or_ annoying.”

Wilbur ignored him, looking at Techno instead, and that was when Tommy realised that his opinion wasn’t really going to change anything.

“Come on Techno, we were having so much fun.” Tommy nudged him, dread curling his toes when he felt Techno begin to face him. “Cool people against Wilbur, right?”

“But where would you go?” Techno mocked.

Tommy saw Techno’s hands edge to the surface of the water and promptly decided to fuck it and make the first move, splashing both Techno and Wilbur in one big wave.

“Ha! Take that, I win! You both suck, bet you wish –“ His words were cut off by a wall of water hitting him and for a second he thought he’d tripped and fallen under the surface of the water.

Soon enough he was able to speak without feeling like he was drowning, opening his eyes to look in shock at Techno, who looked way too smug for someone had just declared war.

Wilbur’s mouth was wide open and looked just as surprised as Tommy felt, but after a moment of silence, jumped and punched his fist in the air. “Hell yeah, I’ve got Technoblade on my side! You’re fucked!”

“Actually,” Techno started, making Wilbur gulp, “I was thinking more along the lines of every man for himself.”

“That sounds suspiciously like karma.” Tommy rocked back on his feet, feeling the waves push against him. “What team is it you’re on again Wilbur? The adults or the annoying children?”

Wilbur looked at Techno, then at Tommy, then back at Techno who was raising his hands above the water threateningly, before sighing and mumbling, “The annoying children.”

“What was that?” Tommy put a hand to his ear, watching Techno make a small, threatening splash in Wilbur’s direction.

Wilbur shrieked and jumped close to Tommy. “The annoying children.”

“Yeah, you are!” Tommy started sending wave after wave in Techno’s direction, Wilbur joining him but even with their combined forces Techno didn’t stumble, somehow continuously drenching them until Tommy gave up on splashing him and threw himself at Techno, sending them both tumbling under the water.

If there had been any dry spots before, there definitely weren’t after they surfaced, desperately trying to breathe through their laughter.

“Oh my god, Phil is going to kill us.” Wilbur was wearing a wide grin despite his words.

Tommy scoffed. “As if Phil could kill me.”

Beside him, Techno was still struggling to stop laughing and Tommy took in the rare sight of such an obvious show of emotion. “I’m telling him you said that.”

“Well, I’m telling him that you said it first.” Tommy retorted, crossing his arms.

Techno was running back to Phil before Tommy could even catch onto what was happening, but the second he did he was sprinting after him, Wilbur’s laughter following them.

They arrived at Phil’s side in record speed, the older man cringing away from them when water splashed on his clothes.

“Techno said that you –“ Tommy turned to Techno. “What was it you said again?”

“Who won?” Wilbur asked, finally catching up to them and leaning over to rest his hands on his knees.

Techno was too busy staring at Tommy in disbelief to answer Wilbur. “I can’t believe you forgot in the span of thirty seconds. It was - oh fuck.”

“You forgot it too didn’t you.” Tommy accused, half in amazement, half in pure, unfiltered joy.

“No.” Techno denied but didn’t offer up what they’d been racing to tell Phil.

Wilbur grinned and sat down next to Phil to put his shoes back on, laughing as Phil edged away from the pool of water he instantly created beneath him. “Phil, they reckon that you couldn’t kill them.”

“That was it!” Tommy and Techno both shouted in unison.

“Oh do they?” Phil asked, tilting his head to the side. “I guess they don’t want ice cream then.”

Hopping as he tried to put his socks on, Tommy groaned loudly. “You can’t keep using ice cream as a threat. I am a rich, big man and I can pay for my own chocolate sundae.”

Phil laughed. “Oh yeah? Feel free.”

“That’s not what I –“ Tommy hurried to backtrack. “I’m very sorry Phil, I am just a poor boy with no family who needs his ice cream bought for him, please forgive me.”

“I suppose.” Phil drew out. “I guess ice creams are on me then.”

“Let’s go!” Wilbur cheered, jumping up and putting an arm around Tommy and Techno.

Standing up, Phil shook his head fondly. “We better find a van or something, I doubt any of the shops around here are going to let you and half the ocean in.”

Tommy stuck his tongue out and leaned a little into Wilbur, trying to steal what little heat the other had. He was freezing and wished that they’d had the forethought to bring towels with them.

Yawning, he brought up one hand to cover his mouth and the other to poke Wilbur in the side as they followed Phil, Techno shrugging off Wilbur’s arm and walking beside Phil.

“What’s that for?” Wilbur asked, rubbing his side with an exaggerated hurt expression.

“I’m tired and cold.”

“And that meant you had to stab me?”

Tommy pretended to think for a second. “Yes.”

He felt Wilbur shake with laughter and poked him again, annoyed.

“Stop it, child.” Wilbur said with a smile, squeezing Tommy closer. “I will feed your ice cream to the seagulls.”

“You’d do that anyway.” Tommy said through another yawn.

Wilbur squeezed him. “You are adorable.”

“I will bite you.” Tommy threatened. “I will bite you and give away your organs for free.”

“Like I said: adorable.”

Phil stopped a few metres away from the ice cream van and dug his money out, looking them over before smiling and handing Techno Barney’s lead. “Back in a minute, Tommy’s in charge.”

“Hear that, guys?” Tommy didn’t move from his position under Wilbur’s arm, content to stay in the almost hug for a little longer. “I’m in charge.”

Techno shook his head, leaning against a wall. “Must have missed that, guess it didn’t happen.”

Tommy ignored him. “My first command is for Wilbur to give me his organs.”

Wilbur laughed. “No.”

“Please?” Tommy asked, turning to look at Wilbur. “With like, six cherries on top?”

“Sorry Tommy, I left them at home today.”

Tommy sighed. “Typical. Techno, your organs, please.”

“Mine are in the bank Tommy.” Techno said, face blank.

Tommy threw his hands up in the air. “What’s the point in being in charge if I’m not able to take any organs?”

Phil returned then, somehow holding two ice creams in each hand. “I don’t want to know.”

“Phil, Phil, Phil.” Tommy clapped his hands together. “Any spare organs?”

“Wha- No?” Phil was giving Tommy the weirdest look. “Techno, help me hand these out.”

Techno did so without complaint. Taking his from Techno, Tommy realised that Phil had managed to get him his favourite flavour without asking.

He opened his mouth to ask, but closed it again after a second, staring at his ice cream with a small smile, warmth filling his chest. He should have known that Phil would know his favourite ice cream flavour because it was Phil, of course, he knew.

Wilbur removed his arm from Tommy’s shoulders and Tommy reached over and put it back, not looking at Wilbur as he did so.

“Tommy, I need to eat.” Wilbur said through a laugh.

Tommy licked his ice cream. “You have two hands, bitch.”

Phil was giving him that soft smile so Tommy made a face at him and focused back on his ice cream, determinedly not looking at anyone.

They all ate their ice creams in relative silence and Tommy started to get increasingly tired, resting more of his weight on Wilbur. Apparently, staying awake for half the night made you tired during the day, who would have thought?

He felt wide awake though, when across the road a couple started shouting at each other, their voices easily carrying over to where Tommy was standing.

“Toms?” Wilbur asked, moving his hand to run his fingers through Tommy’s hair. “What’s up?”

Tommy realised only then how much he’d tensed up and tried to relax but couldn’t, the clear anger and aggressiveness in their voices making him curl into himself.

He watched them warily, eyes wide as the shouting only seemed to get louder, becoming the only thing he could hear.

Distantly he realised someone was guiding him away, but only because the couple were getting further away. His back hit a wall and without really thinking about it he slid down it, hugging his knees to his chest but keeping his eyes on the couple who were still shouting at each other.

Something obstructed his vision and Tommy tried to move his head but whatever was in his way moved with him.

It was Wilbur. He was saying something if the way his mouth was moving was any indication, but there were still people shouting and his heart was racing and they were angry and he didn’t know where he was and –

Wilbur took Tommy’s hand and held it against his chest; Tommy could feel the gentle rise and fall as Wilbur breathed, the fast beating of his heart under his chest giving away his own rising panic.

It was that – the idea that Wilbur was upset – that got through to him and made the roaring in his eyes quiet enough for him to hear what Wilbur was saying.

“-okay, Techno and Phil have gone to sort them out. You’re safe, you’re okay. Breathe with me.”

Tommy took one gulping breath but couldn’t steady his breathing like Wilbur wanted. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” Wilbur sounded so confident in him but here Tommy was, struggling to breathe normally of all things. “Copy me.”

Wilbur breathed in and out slowly, in the most obviously exaggerated way that Tommy wanted to mock him about but couldn’t help but be grateful for when it meant that after a minute he was able to breathe his own shaky breaths, nowhere near the controlled breathing Wilbur was doing, but far better than the gasping he’d been doing before.

“There you go, Toms.” Wilbur whispered, running a hand through Tommy’s hair. “You ready to go home or do you want to sit here for a bit longer?”

“I’m tired.” If he had been tired after his ice cream, then he was exhausted now, each limb feeling like a dead weight.

Wilbur smiled sadly. “I know, panic attacks will do that to you.”

Tommy wondered if it was rude to ask how Wilbur knew that. “I don’t want to walk home.”

“I’ve called a taxi.” A voice said from above them – Phil, Tommy recognised when he turned to look.

He tried to be embarrassed about how he’d been caught sitting on the floor, learning how to breathe again but found that he just… couldn’t. Not with Phil.

Tommy hummed and watched as Wilbur stood up and Techno walked over to them all, feeling somewhat disconnected from what was happening. They were waiting on him, he realised after a beat of silence, so he tried to stand up so they could leave.

He failed. Even when he used the wall to support him, he couldn’t gather enough strength to stand up and felt frustrated tears gather at the corner of his eyes. He wasn’t ill, or injured, there was no reason for him to be being so pathetic right then, but it was like all the energy had been sapped from him.

He must have been a right sight because barely a second later Techno was crouched in front of him. “Is it okay if I help you?”

Tommy swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. “Please.”

Techno placed his arms under Tommy’s and Tommy put his hands on Techno’s shoulders before trying to stand up again, finding it much easier with Techno’s help.

When he stood he leaned heavily against Techno’s side, more than ready to fall in bed and forget he existed for a bit. Techno didn’t object, just put an arm around him and held him closer.

Phil and Wilbur were with Barney down the road, talking to someone in a taxi and Tommy audibly groaned at the thought of having to walk all the way there.

“I could probably carry you there.” Techno offered quietly.

Tommy shook his head. “I’ll be fine, Tech. Don’t want you dropping me.”

“Alright.”

They started walking over slowly and Tommy could have sworn that they weren’t getting any closer, until all of a sudden, they were there, and he could hear the exasperation in Phil’s voice as he talked to the taxi driver.

“-triple the normal price. Come on mate, it’ll be a five-minute journey. I’ve got a kid to get home, please.”

Tommy narrowed his eyes. He did not like hearing Phil practically begging someone because of Tommy.

“Fine.” The taxi driver relented. “But if you can’t pay then I’m calling the police.”

Tommy barely resisted rolling his eyes as he followed Phil into the back, Techno following him as Wilbur sat in the front seat. Barney wriggled from Phil’s lap onto Tommy’s and Tommy couldn’t help his soft smile as the puppy licked his cheek before settling down.

The car started and Barney whined a little, so Tommy stroked his fur gently trying to calm him down. Every other time Barney had been in a car he’d been asleep, and it was clear that he wasn’t sure what was going on.

Tommy bumped their noses together and tried to keep Barney distracted as they drove home, happy when it seemed to work well enough to stop the sad noises Barney was making.

At some point, the car stopped and Tommy took a minute to realise that that meant they were home, blinking as Barney was lifted carefully from his lap and Techno guided him out of the car and by Phil’s side.

He got a front-row seat to Techno asking the taxi driver if he was _really_ going to overcharge them for the journey and he couldn’t see Techno’s face but if the way the other man gave in instantly was any kind of sign, it must have been one of his more chilling expressions.

Tommy giggled as the Techno handed the man what had to be the normal amount of money and told him to keep the change.

The taxi driver drove away pretty quickly after that and Phil laughed. “I really was going to pay him extra Techno, you didn’t have to do that.”

“You need to save your money for your retirement fund Phil.” Techno said, unlocking their front door. “Not using it to bribe taxi drivers into doing their jobs.”

“Yeah Phil, you’re old.” Wilbur said with a grin as they all stumbled into the living room.

Tommy laughed and watched as Barney started to run around in excitement, jumping over the chairs before deciding to go to sleep under the coffee table.

Yawning, Tommy made a face as Phil moved away to put his shoes away.

Phil sighed as Wilbur and Techno continued to mock his age, turning to Tommy. “You look about ready to fall asleep on your feet.”

“Rude.” Tommy frowned. “I look great all the time no matter what.”

“Sure you do mate.” Phil grinned. “Do you want a nap or do you want to watch a film and end up falling asleep anyway?”

As much as Tommy would love an excuse to force everyone to watch Up for the millionth time, he didn’t think he’d be able to stay awake for long enough for the film to even start. “I’m going to go and have the best nap of my life.”

“Alright mate.” Phil started to go to Tommy’s bedroom and Tommy followed curiously, only stumbling every other step, wondering what Phil was doing.

Phil looked for permission to enter his room and Tommy waved for him to go ahead, not too bothered about keeping anything from Phil.

Just as he was about to slip into bed, Phil stopped him. “Hang on Toms, I don’t want you catching a cold because you went to sleep in wet clothes.”

“But Phil…” Tommy whined.

Phil chuckled. “Please? You don’t even have to get them yourself; I’ll pick out something warm for you.”

“Phil you are the only good man.” Tommy said, leaning against the wall as he stared at his bed and resisted the urge to just jump into it.

“Oh yeah?” Phil rifled through his wardrobe to get a hoodie and then started going through his draws. “What about Wil and Techno?”

“Well they’re not exactly men, are they?” Tommy took the clothes from Phil.

Laughing, Phil turned his back as Tommy immediately started changing. “What are they then?”

Tommy didn’t have to think about that one. “Bitches.”

“I’ll let them know.”

“Please do.” Tommy said. “I’m done, can I please go to sleep now?”

Phil turned back around and started fussing with Tommy’s bed covers. “Yeah, yeah, next time I’ll just let you get a cold.”

Tommy climbed into bed, sinking into the mattress with a sigh. “I’m sorry I ruined family time.”

There was a pang of uncomfortable guilt in his gut – he’d panicked over nothing and wrecked what was otherwise a good day.

“You didn’t ruin anything Toms.” Tugging the bed covers so they were wrapped around Tommy, Phil sat on the bed next to him. “We were going to be going home soon anyway.”

Tommy shut his eyes and shifted to be more comfortable. “Promise?”

“I promise.” Phil said, stroking the hair away from Tommy’s forehead. “We can talk about it more later if you want, but yeah, nothing that happened today was your fault or ruined anything, promise.”

Warmth coated Tommy’s entire being, muscles relaxing under the covers at Phil’s assurance.

He forced his eyes open when he heard someone else come into his room. “Tech?”

“Someone felt like they were missing out.” Techno said, holding up Barney. “You mind?”

Instead of responding Tommy just shuffled back on his bed a little and held his arms out for Barney.

Techno huffed out a laugh and put Barney down on the bed. “Here you go, one puppy for delivery.”

Barney walked around in a circle a few times before settling down against Tommy’s chest; Tommy had a massive urge to ramble about how cute he was, only managing to stop himself by the thought that it might disrupt Barney and make him move.

Tommy was going to be so disappointed when Barney grew up and stopped needing to nap so often, but for now, Barney’s steady breathing comforted him as he fell asleep.

  


He woke to the feeling of hair in his face and it was not what he’d describe as pleasant.

Opening his eyes, he was greeted by Barney’s tail wagging directly across his face.

“Barney, come here.” He heard Wilbur whisper. “I know you need to piss and Tommy would not appreciate you doing it in his bed.”

Tommy stayed silent, curious about what else Wilbur would say.

“Don’t tilt your head at me.” Wilbur was getting progressively louder and Tommy knew that even if Barney’s tail hadn’t woken him up, Wilbur would have. “Yes, you’re very cute but that does not help anything. Come here.”

“Wil, shut up.” Tommy groaned, tired of hearing Wilbur being incapable at getting Barney to move. “Barney, off.”

Barney jumped off his bed and ran out of the room, leaving an exasperated Wilbur staring at where he used to sit.

“What the fuck? How?”

Tommy stretched his arms above his head. “Barney can just sense that I am the alpha male here and listens accordingly. You were too busy telling him how cute he was.”

“Whatever.” Wilbur dismissed. “How are you feeling?”

“Awake.” Tommy sat up and swung his legs out of bed.

“I meant emotion wise.”

“Awake can be an emotion.” Tommy grumbled, standing up. “But I’m fine, thanks. I don’t know what that was earlier.”

Wilbur sighed and leaned against the doorframe. “It was normal, for what you’ve gone through. Hell, I’ve had a few panic attacks in my time and I haven’t been through half the stuff you have.”

“That’s how you knew how to help then?” Tommy asked, staring pointedly at the ceiling instead of Wilbur. “With the breathing and shit?”

“Yeah, I might be useless with everything else, but I know how to get through a panic attack.” Wilbur sounded far too self-deprecating for Tommy’s liking.

Looking Wilbur in the eyes, Tommy decided to throw away any sense of pride for a moment. “Well it helped, so thank you.”

Wilbur smiled. “Sure thing Toms, anytime.”

“Bitch.”

Rolling his eyes, Wilbur checked his watch. “It’s only two in the afternoon but Techno was getting antsy about you missing your lunch. You up for some food?”

“I’m starving.” Tommy said, holding his stomach. “If I don’t eat in the next five minutes I might actually die.”

“You are the worst.” Wilbur said, already walking to the kitchen. “The absolute worst.”

Tommy sighed. “If only I cared enough about your opinion for that to bother me.”

“Excuse you.” Wilbur knocked their shoulders together. “We both know my opinion matters the most.”

Narrowing his eyes, Tommy skipped the last three stairs. “You wish.”

“Tommy.” Phil said, appearing from around the corner. “Please stop jumping down the stairs, if you break your neck, I will be held responsible.”

Tommy hummed. “I bet I could survive a broken neck.”

“Let’s test it.” Wilbur said, clapping his hands.

“Let’s not.” Phil hurried to interject. “Come on Tommy, there’s a plate of sandwiches in the kitchen.”

“Hi, Techno.” Tommy greeted as they all entered the kitchen.

Techno nodded his head. “Eat.”

Tommy didn’t say anything else before grabbing a sandwich and taking a bite, knowing Techno wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else until Tommy had something to eat.

“Wil.” Tommy said through his food. “Can you go and get my phone from my room please?”

Wilbur made a face at him. “Only because it means I can get away from how disgustingly childlike you are.”

Wilbur disappeared for a minute and Tommy gulped down a couple of sandwiches so Techno would be satisfied.

Taking his phone from Wilbur, Tommy opened it to see he had a message from Dream.

‘ _Streaming in a bit and Gogy has abandoned me, you mind filling in?’_

Rubbing his eyes, Tommy tried to remember what his own streaming plans had been for the day. ‘ _What time?’_

It wasn’t long before he got a reply. ‘ _About thirty minutes? Either bed wars or I was thinking about doing a manhunt special, but we’d need more people.’_

Tommy hummed. “You guys fancy streaming with Dream in half an hour? Some kind of special manhunt.”

He saw them all look at each other out of the corner of his eye but it was Phil that spoke. “Do you think you’ll be okay to go on a stream?”

“I feel fine now.” Tommy looked up and saw the worried looks on all of their faces. “Guys, come on, I promise.”

“Oh yeah, because when have you ever stretched the truth about your health.” Techno said, crossing his arms.

“If I start to feel like shit then I’ll leave, but I honestly feel fine.” Tommy gave them his best smile and crossed his fingers under the kitchen table.

Wilbur shrugged. “I’m fine with it; if we’re there then we can cover if you need to leave.”

“Free clout.” Techno shrugged. “May as well.”

“Phil?” Tommy asked.

Phil looked at Techno. “Those computers in the spare rooms are still working?”

“They should be.” Techno said. “No one’s touched them since we all played bed wars the other day.”

Phil sighed fondly. “Guess there’s no reason not to then.”

“Yes!” Tommy cheered, before messaging Dream.

‘ _How do you feel about sbi manhunt? Everyone’s onboard if you are.’_

Dream’s response came faster than any response Tommy had ever gotten from the man. _‘How did you get Techno to agree to that??’_

_‘I am very powerful.’_

_‘If you say so. That sounds good though! Much better than 1v1 bed wars. People will be hyped for a sbi stream.’_

Tommy laughed. ‘ _They better be.’_

‘ _You mind getting everyone to hop into vc now and make sure we’re ready?’_

_‘On it.’_

“Dream says to call now so we can get ready.” Tommy told them.

Techno sighed. “I guess.”

“Everyone to battle stations!” Wilbur clapped his hands. “Go, go, go!”

Tommy laughed and played along, racing Wilbur up the stairs and into their respective rooms.

His computer was on, thankfully, so he opened Discord and made a group chat for them all, starting a call. Dream joined a few seconds later.

“Hello.” Tommy said, fiddling with his volume and starting up Minecraft. “Everyone should be joining in a second.”

“Hi.” Dream greeted. “Thanks for this Tommy, I was starting to run out of options.”

“No problem, I’m –“ Techno walked in and Tommy muted himself so Dream couldn’t hear him. “Techno?”

“Snacks.” Techno explained, handing him the plate of remaining sandwiches then leaving without another word.

Tommy called out a thank you before unmuting himself. “Oops, sorry, accidentally muted myself there. You got a server for us to join?”

“Yeah, look in chat.” Dream said, somewhat distracted. “You’re sure Techno is joining? I’ve been trying for weeks to get him to stream with me and consistently failed.”

Techno joined the call then and Tommy couldn’t help the laughter that followed. “Yeah, big man, I’m sure.”

Dream wheezed and Tommy cracked his knuckles, preparing himself to be live.

Wilbur and Phil joined the call and before long Dream was deafening himself to introduce the stream.

Punching Dream in-game, Tommy laughed as Techno mocked Dream. “In this livestream I coded it so that GeorgeNotFound is actually Technoblade! This is going to be crazy, watch till the end to find out.”

“Thanks for that Techno.” Dream said, apparently finished introducing his stream.

Techno paused and Tommy could tell he was fighting laughter. “You’re welcome.”

The stream started fairly well; Dream managed to get away because of course he did, but Techno swore that the man must have been down to half a heart.

It wasn’t until they were waiting for Dream to return to his portal in the Nether that Tommy realised the real reason the others had agreed to join Dream’s stream with him.

Dream must have seen them waiting by the portal. “Oh my god, are you just waiting there? What the hell is wrong with you?”

His voice was only just above normal volume but Wilbur acted like he’d shouted. “Chill out dude, no need to be so loud.”

“What?” Dream raised his voice in revenge. “What did you say, Wilbur? I couldn’t hear you.”

“Dream speaking louder does not make what you say worth listening to.” Techno said and it was strange, because Tommy could hear a tinge of defensiveness in his voice.

“Sorry Techno, couldn’t hear you with your quiet voice!” Dream must have been shouting down the mic now.

Phil was the next to pipe up. “Surely you understand the concept of inside voices by now.”

“Tommy’s the child here.” Dream joked, back at a normal volume. “If anyone doesn’t know the concept of inside voices, it’s him.”

Tommy was about to defend himself when Wilbur spoke for him. “Wow, big man Dream targets child after fatal insult from Phil.”

It clicked then, what the others were doing, and Tommy cursed himself for not figuring it out the moment Wilbur told Dream to be quieter.

They were still worried about him after what happened earlier, which while sweet, wasn’t very conducive to giving Dream good livestream content.

Typing in chat, he messaged them one after the other to calm down, that he was fine with Dream shouting.

No one responded until Wilbur said. “Hold on Dream, got to talk to Tommy about our secret plans, don’t do anything.”

Wilbur left the call and Tommy followed after him, waiting for a call and surprised when he felt a tap on his shoulder instead.

“Forgot you were here.” Tommy grinned, swivelling around on his chair. “You guys can stop being so overprotective now.”

Wilbur shook his head. “You’re sure? You didn’t feel anxious at all when Dream started shouting?”

“It was funny.” Tommy reassured, unable to help his smile. “I’ll send you a message if I do.”

Wilbur sighed. “Stand up.”

“Huh?”

“Stand up.” Wilbur repeated.

Tommy rolled his eyes but did as he was told. “Now what? Jump ten times? I won’t ask how high, I refuse.”

Wilbur didn’t respond, just stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Tommy, resting his chin on the top of Tommy’s head.

“Oh.” Tommy said, returning the hug. “What’s this for?”

Wilbur squeezed him. “I do not need a reason to hug my little brother.”

Tommy wasn’t quite sure how to explain the bubbles of happiness that popped up when Wilbur called him his little brother and frankly, he didn’t want to. Instead, he just leaned into the hug and enjoyed it.

Wilbur pulled away and patted the top of Tommy’s head, making Tommy swipe his hand away.

“Stop it.” Tommy groaned. “You’re going to mess up my hair and then I won’t be able to impress the ladies.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I’m leaving.”

“Good.” Tommy said. “Bye.”

“Talk to you in a minute.” Wilbur called out as he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

Tommy didn’t join the call straight away, trying to calm down all the fuzzy, warm feelings that came with his family being defensive of him, even when it wasn’t necessary.

Maybe it was supposed to be annoying, having them be so defensive of him, but no matter how much Tommy tried to be annoyed at them for it, he couldn’t.

It was nice to have people that wanted to defend him, that cared enough about whether he was upset, that considered how he would react to certain things.

He supposed that’s what having a family was all about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Giraffe. Susurrus.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you thought! This took me far too long to write and I'm super sorry about that, but I've entered the writing phase once again so next chapter shouldn't be as long as a wait. 
> 
> Speaking of, next chapter will be the final chapter of the series and I'm hyped to tie this up nicely.
> 
> As always you can find me on Tumblr [@piteouspeculiarity](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/piteouspeculiarity) <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy finally uses that box of pink hair dye that's been sitting in his wardrobe, hidden, for weeks. Hopefully all goes to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, self doubt and the effects of child abuse.
> 
> Keep yourselves safe <3
> 
> Once again, huge thanks to Kat for reading and betaing this for me. Kat, I love you, thank you <33 
> 
> philanthropic smudge 😔

Staring at the box in his hand, Tommy reconsidered every decision he’d made that had led to that point.

Pink hair dye. _Pink hair dye_. How on earth had he let Tubbo convince him to do this? Even worse, how had he let Tubbo convince him to do it when Tubbo wasn’t even there with him to share the blame?

“Stop making a big deal out of it.” Tubbo said through the call. “I can literally feel you stressing all the way from my house.”

Tommy glared at his camera. “Why aren’t you here again?”

“You forced me to stay at home.” Tubbo threw his hands up in disbelief. “I said I’d do it with you and you insisted you were capable of doing it alone.”

Oh yeah, Tommy had done that. “That feels irrelevant.”

“You are the worst.” Tommy watched as Tubbo mindlessly spun around in his chair.

Tommy ignored him. “How does this even work? I just ask him politely if he could please put this unnamed product on his hair? I’ll be honest, I don’t think that’s going to work.”

Sighing, Tubbo stopped spinning and looked at his camera. “Have you not seen a single film ever?”

“I only watch one film, the greatest film of all –“

Tubbo cut him off. “Yeah, yeah, we all know how much of an ‘Up’ fan you are. I’m talking about Matilda, I’m talking about, uh, every prank channel ever.”

“Once again you are saying so much without saying a single helpful thing.” Rolling the box around in his hands, Tommy’s eyes flicked over the instructions. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“You just put it into his shampoo or whatever, mix it around and then when he uses it next, he’ll accidentally dye his hair.” Tubbo smiled as if any of what he had said had made sense. “Easy.”

Tommy stood up and started to pace around his room, keeping his headset on so he could still hear Tubbo. “I don’t really think that’s the definition of easy.”

“Well what’s the problem with it?” Tubbo asked, as if there were only one problem.

“For starters, we have different bathrooms – there is no good reason for me to use his bathroom. Secondly,” Tommy said, holding up two fingers, “have you ever tried to fully open a shampoo bottle? Those things are like, warped shut.”

Tubbo rolled his eyes. “You are thinking about this way too much.”

“But what if he doesn’t shower?” Tommy asked, desperately searching for an excuse to not go through with the stupid prank.

“You take that back.” Tubbo grinned. “The Blade is not a man who does not shower, I refuse to let you taint his image in such a way.”

Tommy groaned. “Tubbo you are not taking this seriously at all.”

“That would be because it is supposed to be a _prank_.” Leaning back in his chair, Tubbo stretched his arms above his head. “Not much point taking it seriously.”

“Not much point taking _you_ seriously.” Tommy retorted, before sighing and throwing himself back into his chair. “Sorry, I’m just worried.”

Leaning forward, Tubbo’s chair made a weird creaking noise as it returned to its normal position. “Yeah, I can tell.”

“Sorry.” Tommy repeated, rubbing his hand across his face.

It was stupid, he knew it was stupid. He was overreacting just like he had the other day at the beach, but was it really overreacting when he could die?

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Tubbo looked nervous in the way he always did when he wasn’t sure what he was about to say would be welcome. “Techno’s a good person and even if - even if he did get angry and try something, those lessons we’ve been taking would mean that you’d be able to get away.”

Tommy tried to smile. “I know Tubbo. It’s ridiculous, I mean, it’s Techno, what’s he going to do? Force feed me even more meals per day?”

The joke fell flat.

“Look Tommy,” Tubbo started, fidgeting with something on his desk, “you don’t _have_ to do this, if it’s making you like, super anxious.”

Tommy shook his head. “It’ll be funny.”

“Well, yeah.” Tubbo shrugged. “But it’s not really worth it if you’re going to stress so much about doing it.”

“Tubbo…” He trailed off, not sure what he’d been planning on saying.

“Tommy?”

Sighing, Tommy ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll call you back in a bit, Tubbo, I think I’m going to talk to Wil.”

He hadn’t realised it until he said it, but he really did want to talk to Wilbur about the prank, if only to have another person reassure him that Techno wouldn’t kick him out the moment he realised what had happened. And if Wilbur said not to do it, then well, Tommy wasn’t exactly going to not listento Wilbur, not when Wilbur acted as his moral compass.

“Alright, speak to you later.” Tubbo waved as Tommy disconnected from the call.

Checking the time on his phone, Tommy stood up; it was still early enough that he could walk to Wilbur’s without worrying Techno.

He left his bedroom and headed to Techno’s office, knocking and waiting for permission to enter, petting Barney when he bounded up to him with his tail wagging.

“What’s up, Toms?” Techno said, spinning around in his chair.

Tommy grinned. “Nothing. Is it alright if I head over to Wilbur’s for a bit?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Techno cracked his knuckles. “Do you want a lift over? I could do with a break.”

Tommy shook his head. He’d carefully memorised the routes to Tubbo, Wilbur, and Phil’s homes just so he wouldn’t have to rely on Techno for transport – it wasn’t like he went anywhere else alone.

Besides, maybe the fresh air would help clear his head. “No thanks.”

“You staying over for long?” Techno asked, staring at the clock with worry. “It’s almost time for dinner.”

Tommy’s grin turned softer. “Having one meal a little later won’t kill me.”

“It’s the start to a cycle that could.” Techno defended, crossing his arms.

“I shouldn’t be staying too long,.” Tommy assured. “Just want to talk to him about something. I’ll make him buy us dinner on the way back if you want.”

Techno hummed. “Make him buy for four people and Phil can join us so we can settle the monopoly argument.”

“Wil definitely cheated.”

“Phil too.” Techno added. “I knew there was a reason he insisted on being the banker.”

“And we played by the rules, right?” Leaning against the doorway, Tommy raised an eyebrow at Techno.

There was a moment of silence.

“Right.” Techno drawled out, spinning back around to look at his computer.

Tommy laughed in disbelief. “You _didn’t_.”

Techno hummed but refused to turn back around and look at Tommy.

“Holy shit.” Tommy hadn’t expected Techno to be so awful at lying, but here they were. “You too?”

In one quick movement, Techno spun back around to look him in the eyes. “Too?”

“Not too.” Tommy backtracked. “I meant, as in, you as well, like Wilbur and Phil.”

There was relief on Techno’s face, clear as – well, not clear as day, but Tommy had long learned to read between the lines with Techno. “We need to make a pact.”

“I didn’t cheat.” Tommy insisted. It wasn’t _his_ fault no one noticed when he kept moving the wrong amount of spaces.

“Tommy.” Techno deadpanned. “It’s so obvious now, I can’t believe I didn’t realise sooner.”

Tommy bit his tongue, keeping the thought to himself that he’d always been good at lying when he tried. “You mentioned a pact?”

“I won’t tell them you cheated if you don’t tell them I cheated.” Techno offered, spinning around slowly in his chair, which made it a little harder to take him seriously.

There was no way they were going to be able to keep it a secret. “Deal.”

“Excellent.” Techno clapped his hands together. “You better head out before it starts getting dark.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you in a bit, good luck with whatever it is you were doing.”

“Procrastinating.” Techno supplied. “Wear a coat and text me when you get there.”

“Will do!” Tommy called out as he shut the door and walked over to the front door to put his shoes on.

He was about to leave when he saw his coat hanging up and rolled his eyes before pulling it on.

Cold swarmed him the moment he stepped outside and he was reluctantly grateful for Techno’s advice, even if he could stand the cold, unlike _some_ people, it was nice to not be shivering as he walked to Wilbur’s apartment.

He fiddled with his phone as he walked, wishing he’d thought ahead and brought his earphones with him.

It was nice though, the scenery. He hadn’t had much of a chance to really explore around their house yet, preferring to stay inside or make Techno drive him places if he had to go somewhere.

His head felt a little clearer already, the slow fogginess that came with staying inside all day fading away.

Sure, he didn’t know how Techno would react, not for sure, but he _did_ know Techno, and despite all the stupid shit Tommy had done in the last few weeks, Techno hadn’t once gotten mad – well, mad at Tommy. He’d caught Techno cursing out Tommy’s parents in his office once, but Tommy had ignored that and carefully snuck into the kitchen, the huge grin on his face having nothing to do with what he’d overheard, _nothing_.

What had Techno done when they’d been washing the dishes together and Tommy had accidentally splashed him with water and then frozen, expecting some sort of punishment for his mistake? Splashed him back. And yeah, maybe their kitchen had been a mess afterwards, but they’d cleaned it up together, Techno not once trying to make Tommy do all the work himself.

The point was, he could trust Techno. The man might take his revenge, but it wouldn’t hurt Tommy, not in any real way, he might just have to deal with his own shampoo being tampered with a few weeks from now.

He startled somewhat when he realised he was outside Wilbur’s apartment, blinking at the number on the door before shaking his head. Wilbur would probably appreciate having inside knowledge of the prank anyway, even if Tommy didn’t need his advice anymore.

Digging his keys out his pocket, he debated knocking before letting himself in, but ultimately decided that if Wilbur didn’t want Tommy to enter his house at random times of the day, then he shouldn’t have given him the spare key.

He crept in, shutting the door softly behind him, only to turn around and jump when he saw Wilbur sitting on his couch, hands pressed together, looking at Tommy.

“Fucking hell.” Tommy said, holding a hand against his chest. “You scared me.”

A laugh escaped Wilbur and he stood up, walking over to hug Tommy. “Funnily enough, I could tell.”

“Dickhead.” Tommy retorted, hugging him back. “What have you been up to?”

“Not much, tax fraud, stealing from banks, committing arson, the usual.” Wilbur joked, leaning from side to side while he hugged Tommy, pulling Tommy with him.

Tommy halfheartedly tried to pull away. “Let go of me, you prick.”

“Nah.” Wilbur said, stopping the leaning and just squeezing Tommy. “Techno texted me and said that you needed a hug, so I’m fulfilling my big brother duties.”

Heart warm, Tommy was speechless for a second. “Oh.”

He hadn’t even realised that Techno knew there was something on his mind and he definitely hadn’t expected the man to warn Wilbur of it.

“Yeah, oh.” Wilbur said, dragging Tommy over to the couch and sitting them both down so he was trapped under Wilbur’s arm. “Want to talk about it?”

“The walk helped.” Tommy admitted. “I’m not too worried about it anymore.”

Ruffling his hair, Wilbur relaxed against the couch. “Run it by me anyway.”

“A while ago now, Tubbo and I bought this pink hair dye for Techno.” Tommy snuggled into Wilbur, the warmth a nice respite from the cool winter air. “Except we weren’t planning on giving him a choice on whether or not he used it.”

Wilbur hummed, only somewhat successfully in hiding his excitement. “You were going to prank Techno?”

“I still am.” Tommy explained, staring aimlessly at the wall in front of them. “I was just being stupid earlier and worrying about how he’d react.”

“I don’t think its stupid.” Wilbur said quietly, running a hand through Tommy’s hair.

“No?” Tommy asked, lowering his volume to match Wilbur’s.

He felt more than saw Wilbur shake his head. “Not stupid at all, in my humble opinion.”

“Your opinion is anything but humble.” Tommy joked, but his mind stayed fixated on Wilbur’s words, turning them around in his head and searching for any hint that he was lying.

He didn’t find any, because of course he didn’t, it was Wilbur, and Wilbur didn’t lie to him.

“Yeah, yeah.” Wilbur poked him in the side, ignoring the resulting yelp. “So when are you doing it?”

“Tonight. You’re buying everyone dinner and Phil is coming over, so you can distract him while I figure out how to put the dye in the shampoo bottle.” Tommy explained, before sitting up abruptly, narrowly missing hitting Wilbur on the chin. “Shit, forgot to tell Techno I got here without dying.”

“I texted him when I heard you open my door.” Wilbur reassured.

Shaking his head, Tommy unlocked his phone. “I said I’d text him.”

He sent a short message to Techno before locking his phone and slumping back against Wilbur.

Wilbur chuckled before pausing. “Hold on, what was that about buying everyone dinner?”

“Seems pretty self-explanatory to me.” Tommy grinned, absentmindedly spinning his phone around on his hand.

“Guess I’m paying for dinner then.” Wilbur sighed, faking sadness. “What are we making the others eat?”

Tommy hummed. “Anything but that stuff we got last time, Techno hated it.”

“He should have said something then.”

“ _Wil._ ”

Tommy could practically hear Wilbur roll his eyes. “Fine. Even I could tell when the idiot was making faces every time he took a bite.”

“Phil wasn’t exactly the biggest fan either.” Tommy added, not mentioning his own dislike of the food. “I’m pretty sure he was close to throwing up at one point.”

“I get it, I get it. We’ll get pizza or something.”

Standing up, Tommy pulled on Wilbur’s hand until he followed. “Can we get cookies too?”

“I mean, _we_ can get cookies.” Wilbur shrugged. “I don’t know about the rest.”

“Well, we have to get Phil a cookie.” Tommy argued. “And then Techno would be the only one left out and that isn’t fair.”

Pulling his shoes on, Wilbur grinned at Tommy. “You can join him, if you want.”

Tommy pushed him and ran out the front door. “Fuck you!”

Joking with Wilbur was an easy way to forget his impending doom.

  


All Tommy could hear was his own heartbeat, so he had to just trust that Wilbur was successfully keeping Techno away from his own bathroom instead of listening out like he’d wanted to.

His hands shook as he opened the shampoo bottle, placing it on the sink while his hands fumbled to peel away the tape that kept the hair dye box shut. After a few tense seconds of fumbling he gave up on being careful and just ripped the whole box open, holding his breath when everything fell onto the floor with a deafening thump.

There were no approaching footsteps though, at least not that he could hear above his heartbeat, so he reached down and picked up the strange bottle that had fallen out of it.

“This is so not going to work.” Tommy whispered to himself, looking at the hair dye, then the shampoo, then the hair dye again.

With a shake of his head, he unscrewed the hair dye as well and turned it upside down above the open shampoo bottle, squeezing it until he guessed most of it had come out. Somehow none had spilled anywhere, so he quickly screwed the lid back on the shampoo and shook it with one hand while trying to pick up all of his rubbish with his other hand.

There was a building anticipation in his stomach as he left the room with a single glance behind him to make sure no traces of his presence remained – he wanted Techno to have a shower now so that Tommy could see the effects of the hair dye.

Unfortunately, he knew Techno only showered in the mornings, so he’d have to either struggle to go to sleep or he could stay up all night and not risk missing the immediate reaction.

Besides, he didn’t want to give Techno the chance to go and buy more hair dye and dye it back to its original colour before Tommy could see it.

Staying up all night it was.

Tommy entered his room, stuffing the rubbish in the bin under his desk and throwing himself into his chair for a minute, trying to calm his nerves so Techno and Phil wouldn’t think that anything was wrong.

A breathless laugh escaped him.

He could hardly believe that he’d just done that – fuck, how had he even been in the position to do that?

A year ago, he wouldn’t even be able to imagine being on friendly terms with Techno, never mind being close enough to him to be able to put hair dye in his shampoo.

He ran his hands through his hair, a massive grin stretching his cheeks as he stared at the ceiling.

He was lucky, he’d always known that.

He’d been lucky enough to blow up like he had online, no matter how much Wilbur said that it was down to his hard work, he was lucky to have the friends he did, hell, some days he thought he was lucky to be alive, to have made it this far.

But fuck, if it wasn’t the small things that got to him. He could go downstairs and ask for a hug and he’d get three. He could complain about being just a little hungry and could guarantee on there being food in his hands within minutes. He could have his down days with people around him without worrying that he was wasting their time.

He hadn’t thought about hiding his credit card in weeks. He’d almost forgotten how long different coloured bruises took to heal. He no longer held his breath when he heard someone walk past his door.

Yeah, he was pretty damn lucky.

  


“You alright, Toms?” Phil greeted as he entered the kitchen, looking surprised to see Tommy there.

To be fair to Phil, it was nearing midnight and they’d all headed to their own separate bedrooms more than an hour ago.

“I’m fine.” Tommy replied, not bothering to sit up from his position slouched over the counter. “Just vibing, you know how it is.”

He’d spent the first half hour in his room, before the sight of his bed started to get too tempting, so he’d moved to the kitchen instead.

Phil chuckled, opening the cupboard to get a glass, and walking over to the sink to fill it. “I’m old mate, you’re going to have to elaborate a little.”

“Sometimes,” Tommy started, resting his chin on his forearms so he could look at Phil, “you have to stay up all night for no reason in particular.”

Sipping on his water, Phil took a seat beside him. “But what if certain annoying old men were to tell you it would be better for your health if you went to sleep instead.”

“I would tell them that they do not remember the pure power that comes with staying up all night and that that was sad and then ask if they’d like a cookie.” Tommy retorted, not really thinking through his words anymore.

“Ooh,” Phil perked up noticeably, “you have more cookies?”

Tommy moved his arms to let his forehead rest on the cool counter. “A metaphorical cookie, Phil.”

“That’s somewhat disappointing.” Phil said. “What kind of metaphorical cookie?”

“A reality cookie.” Turning his head slightly, Tommy watched as Phil almost choked on his water.

“A metaphorical reality cookie?”

Tommy grinned as Phil barely held in his laughter. “Exactly, I’m glad you understand.”

Shaking his head, Phil placed his water on the counter and rested his chin in one hand, looking at Tommy. “You look shattered, you sure you don’t want to head to bed?”

“I’m a big man, Phil.” Tommy forced himself to sit up and look somewhat awake. “I’m capable of staying up for one night.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Phil was quick to reassure. “But even the biggest of men need a sleep schedule.”

“Not me.”

Phil tilted his head. “And why is it you’ve decided tonight is the night to spend fighting sleep?”

“Important things are happening in the morning, Phil, very important things.” Tommy gave up on sitting straight and fell back against the counter, valiantly holding in the yawn that threatened to escape.

“I have brilliant news for you.” The sarcasm in Phil’s voice was almost unbearable. “They’ve invented these fantastic things called alarms.”

Tommy wished he had the energy to roll his eyes. “If only I knew the exact time I needed to be awake.”

“So what you’re saying is that something very important is happening in the morning, but you don’t know what time it’s happening?”

Tommy nodded without speaking, regretting his decision by the second.

“Well, is there a time that this thing definitely won’t be happening before?” Phil asked, watching with a smile as Tommy practically leaped out of his chair.

This was why Phil was the only acceptable man. “You are so wise, Phil, so very wise.”

“I’m guessing that’s a yes?” Phil laughed.

“Massive yes.” Tommy answered, frantically setting the alarm on his phone for four in the morning – there was no way Techno got up before then. “The biggest of yeses.”

Four hours of sleep wasn’t exactly optimal, but it was far more than he thought he’d be getting.

Yawning, Phil stood up with him, putting an arm around his shoulder and guiding him towards the stairs. “Come on then, bedtime. You need to be well rested if you’ve got big things happening in the morning.”

“I knew there was a reason you lived for this long.” Tommy whispered as they went up the stairs, not wanting to wake up Techno and Wilbur if they’d already fallen asleep.

“Brat.” Phil ruffled Tommy’s hair with a smile. “I’m in my room if you need help with that important thing, okay? Even if it's in the middle of the night.”

Tommy grinned. “Thanks Phil. Goodnight.”

“Night, mate.” Waving, Phil entered what was pretty much his bedroom at this point, closing the door quietly behind him.

Already changed into his pyjamas, Tommy didn’t hesitate to sink into his bed, checking the alarms on his phone one last time before reaching over to put it on charge.

Whatever the morning brought; Tommy knew he’d be safe.

  


Tommy had never been particularly good at getting up when his alarm told him to – he was in fact a big fan of pressing snooze until he felt like getting out of bed, usually at least an hour later.

But when the all too familiar sound woke him up and his phone said it was only four in the morning, he forced himself to wake up at least enough to remember _why_ he’d wanted to get up so early. He didn’t bother with naming his alarms, not when reading was a thousand times more difficult seconds after waking up.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the hair dye box sticking up out of his bin and remembered everything. With a groan he laid back down in bed and shut his eyes, wondering if it was really worth it to get up so early.

He sat up before he could convince himself to just go back to sleep, walking over to his computer and powering it on. With any luck, Quackity or someone would be streaming and Tommy would be able to just chill for a bit and listen out for Technoblade.

Seconds later he was opening Twitch, face twisting in confusion when he saw Tubbo was streaming. He opened Discord, listening to the stream for a few seconds to make sure it wasn’t something he wasn’t supposed to canonically know about – Tubbo was streaming alone it seemed, just building something on the SMP.

Tommy called Tubbo, closing Twitch when the call was accepted just a few seconds later.

“Tubbo, what the fuck are you doing?” Tommy greeted, waiting impatiently for his Minecraft to load. “Why are you awake?”

“Sometimes it be like that.” Tubbo said solemnly, as if that was any kind of explanation.

“It is half four in the morning and I bet you haven’t slept yet.” Spinning around in his chair, Tommy fought a yawn.

He heard Tubbo sit up in his seat. “Oh, I’m live, by the way.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I know that, idiot, how do you think I saw you were awake?”

“Thought you might be using your psychic powers.” Tubbo argued back, easily falling into their typical stream banter. “Either that or my Discord status.”

“You’re an idiot.” Tommy repeated, the SMP finally loading. “Where are you?”

There was a pause and Tommy could almost see Tubbo giving his camera a look. “Fine, next time I won’t tell you I’m live and let you expose all your secrets.”

“If only I were stupid enough for that to work.” Tommy retorted, opening Tubbo’s stream again to see where he was since he hadn’t answered. “I’m on my way.”

Tubbo laughed. “I’m building a club, are you going to help?”

“Not at all.” He started to run across the map to where he thought Tubbo was. “I’ll watch and criticise though, like a good friend would.”

Tubbo laughed and Tommy grinned in success. “How kind of you, I’ll remember that next time you get angry at me for not helping you build something.”

Curious, Tommy glanced at Tubbo’s stream again. “Dude, why the fuck have you been streaming for three hours?”

“For the content.” Tubbo said through a yawn, only proving Tommy’s suspicions that Tubbo was exhausted right. “Why else?”

“For the money, obviously.” Tommy laughed, pausing in game to message Tubbo on Discord.

‘ _How long are you streaming for? Full offence, you look tired as shit.’_

He continued running without saying anything, grinning when he heard Tubbo’s laugh and knowing the other had seen the message.

A few seconds later he got a reply. _‘Was planning on wrapping up soon. Why are you up? Want to talk after?’_

Tommy’s grin turned soft at Tubbo’s concern. ‘ _I’m all good, got up early to make sure I could catch Techno after his shower. Go straight to bed after the stream, idiot.’_

He realised then that they’d both been completely silent for a few seconds. “Why are you building a club anyway? You’ll finish it and you won’t even be allowed in.”

Tubbo sighed. “You wouldn’t understand, you’re too young.”

Tommy played up his anger, reaching where Tubbo had been building and punching him until Tubbo claimed that he was ending the stream because he wasn’t going to be able to get any work done with Tommy around.

He stayed silent while Tubbo said goodbye, then quit Minecraft, stretching his arms above his head. “How was your stream?”

“It was alright.” Tubbo said, turning on his camera on Discord so Tommy could see his shrug. “People were asking for a later stream the other day and we hit the sub goal so I gave in.”

Reaching over, Tommy turned his own camera on. “Well maybe they should realise that you’re a teenager who needs a sleep schedule.”

“You sound like Phil.” Tubbo complained, before yawning.

Tommy cracked his knuckles, laughing as Tubbo winced at the loud noise it made. “Go to bed Tubbo, I’ll talk to you in a bit.”

He was about to disconnect from the call when Tubbo’s voice stopped him. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, Big T, I’m fine, promise.” Tommy assured, mouse hovering over the disconnect button.

“Good, good. Talk to you later then.” Tubbo waved at his camera with both hands, apparently relying on Tommy to end the call.

Tommy waved back with his free hand. “Later man.”

He ended the call and watched as Tubbo’s status changed to offline a few seconds later. He was just about to see who else was streaming when he heard _something_ moving somewhere in the house. There was every possibility it was just Barney, but it sounded like a person moving about and – yes, that was a shower.

Tommy grinned, nervousness ebbing away as he realised there was nothing he could do to stop the prank now. He almost fell out of his chair when not a minute later there was a knock on his door, but when he opened it to be greeted with Wilbur’s own grin, he only barely held in his laughter.

Wilbur held up a finger to his lips, clearly holding in his own laughter, before going to shut Tommy’s bedroom door. Just before he could, the door to Phil’s room opened, the man blinking blearily at them.

“Okay.” Phil said, voice quiet. “What are you two up to and is it going to cost anything?”

Tommy couldn’t hold in his snickers then, despite Wilbur’s frantic shushing. “What do you mean, Phil? We’re just gathered here by coincidence.”

“In fact,” Wilbur whispered, clasping his hands together, “I find it a little suspicious that you’re up so early, Phil. What brings you to this lovely hallway?”

Nodding in agreement, Tommy crossed his arms, trying to look as intimidating as he could for someone in his pyjamas. “Yeah, Phil, what are _you_ up to?”

Phil looked between them and then crossed his own arms, somehow pulling off the whole intimidation thing far better than Tommy had. “Do I even want to know?”

Tommy shared a look with Wilbur before they both exploded into a burst of breathless laughter. Holding up a finger to signify one second, Tommy ran back into his room, grabbing the empty box of hair dye from his bin and holding it up proudly for Phil’s inspection.

“Oh my God.” Phil groaned, a smile already working its way onto his face. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

Tommy bit his lip to stop the loud laughter he wanted to let loose, nudging Wilbur to talk for them. “I’m afraid we can’t do that, Phil.”

They all froze when they heard the shower turn off.

Tommy nudged Wilbur again, just in excitement. Wilbur nudged him back and they grinned at each other.

There was still the tinge of apprehension in Tommy’s gut, but it was easily drowned out by the anticipation of waiting for Techno to leave his room.

Without a word, Phil reached over to turn on the hallway lights, clearly just as eager to see Techno with pink hair.

Minutes passed by and Tommy was just about to ask if Techno had gone back to sleep when the man himself stepped out of his bedroom, turning around and freezing when he saw them all gathered there, staring at him.

For a moment there was complete silence as they all took in the shocking image that was Techno; it was Phil, surprisingly, who broke the quiet that had settled over them.

“Morning mate.” Phil waved, giving away absolutely nothing. “Want a coffee?”

Techno looked at Tommy, then at Wilbur, then back at Phil. “Is everyone okay?”

Tommy lost it then, unable to deal with the look of pure confusion on Techno’s face and the careful blankness of Phil’s. Barely a second later Wilbur joined him and they had to hold on to each other to stay upright, laughter wracking their bodies so hard that falling to the floor was becoming more and more likely.

Techno made a noise of confusion and Phil couldn’t hold back his own chuckles. “Have you looked in the mirror today?”

“No?” Techno narrowed his eyes at Phil. “What did Tommy do?”

Breathless, Tommy fought to speak and defend himself. “Hey, what makes you think I’ve done anything?”

“I wonder.” Techno crossed his arms, apparently unphased that he didn’t know why they wanted him to look in a mirror. “It probably has nothing to do with how suspicious you’re acting right now.”

“Why couldn’t it be Wil?” Tommy whined, unable to take his eyes off Techno's hair.

“Because Wil knows better than to do anything that might incite revenge.” Techno rolled his eyes, as if it were obvious. “You are more likely to forget than anything you do, I can and will do back a hundred times worse.”

Tommy thought that maybe that should concern him. It didn’t. “Bring it on, bitch boy.”

“Techno,” Phil interrupted, probably saving Tommy’s life, “maybe it’s time you looked in the mirror?”

Turning around without a word, Techno didn’t acknowledge how they all hurried to follow him into his room and over to where his mirror hung on his wall.

He froze when he met his own gaze in the mirror, raising a hand to his hair in disbelief. Tommy pushed Wilbur out of the way so his own face was next to Techno’s in the mirror, a bright grin contrasting to Techno’s crumbling blankness.

Techno’s hair was bright pink, just like Tommy had hoped, but so was most of his forehead and neck. Tommy snorted when he caught sight of Techno’s palms, seeing that they hadn’t escaped being affected by the hair dye.

Maybe the instructions on the box that said to use gloves weren’t so worthless after all.

“Oops?” Tommy offered, watching as Techno examined his hair.

“Rubbing alcohol will get rid of the stuff on your skin.” Wilbur said, pausing in making funny faces in the mirror. “Just make sure to rinse with warm water and soap after.”

Phil laughed. “I’m not sure it’s the stuff on his skin that’s the main issue here, Wil.”

“Phil,” Techno said, turning around to look at him, “you were a part of this?”

Shaking his head, Phil abandoned Tommy and Wilbur to Techno’s evil schemes. “Nah, mate, I found out this morning when it was too late.”

Techno nodded, ran his fingers through his hair once more, then looked at Tommy. “One day, when you least expect it, you will wake up and you will be ginger and you will regret everything.”

Tommy smiled. “I look forward to it.”

And he was.

  


“He’s _keeping_ it?” Tubbo said, talking through the ping that suggested someone had joined their conversation. “Was that part of the plan?”

“Hello?” Tommy asked, trying to decide if he could be bothered to look away from his bedwars game and check who had joined. “No Tubbo, that was definitely not a part of the plan.”

“Hi.” Dream greeted. “What are you two talking about?”

“Techno’s pink hair.” Tubbo said before Tommy could stop him. “Want me to send you the picture?”

Confused laughter made Dream’s response harder to understand. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Tubbo, you’re an idiot.” Tommy groaned, though it wasn’t Tubbo’s fault he was less experienced with keeping secrets from his friends. “Someone we know, who may or may not be Techno, has pink hair.”

Dream let out one of his famous wheezes then, startling Tommy into falling off the map. His bed had already been broken so he just left the server, quitting out of the game entirely and moving Discord to his main monitor.

After a moment or two, Dream calmed himself. “He really has pink hair? How? I’m guessing it wasn’t by choice.”

Tommy snorted, still a little annoyed Dream had made him lose the game. “Really, big man? How’d you figure that one out?”

“Well it’s not really a Techno thing to do, is it?” Dream responded, ignoring Tommy’s sarcasm.

Tubbo decided to be helpful, the prick. “Tommy and I bought hair dye weeks ago and this morning Tommy finally used it to prank Techno.”

“I thought you lived hours away Tommy?” Dream asked, confused again. “How’d you convince your parents to let you travel so far just for a prank?”

“Fuck.” Tubbo swore, clearly realising his mistake.

Tommy buried his face in his hands before sighing and standing up. “I’ll be back in a moment. Tubbo, put yourself on mute; Dream, stay there and stop your brain from thinking for a bit.”

He took his headphones off and sighed again before he left to the kitchen where Phil was cooking while Wilbur and Techno watched.

“There is a problem.” Tommy announced, scaring Wilbur so hard he almost fell off his perch on the counter. “Tubbo is an idiot.”

“That’s not very nice.” Wilbur scolded, waving a mocking finger in Tommy’s direction.

Ignoring him, Tommy turned his attention to Techno and Phil instead, somehow still surprised when he saw shocking pink hair instead of the usual brown. “Tubbo pretty much told Dream that I have moved house.”

“Okay.” Phil said, way too calm for the rising panic in Tommy’s chest. “This is good right? You were going to have to tell Dream to stop sending merch to the wrong house at some point, it may as well be now.”

“But then he’s going to ask _why_ I moved house and then I’m going to have to explain and –“

Wilbur placed his hands on Tommy’s shoulders, bringing his rambling to a stop. “Deep breaths Toms.”

Tommy let his face fall forward to hide into Wilbur’s shoulder, trying to calm his breathing.

Techno walked over to them, speaking quietly. “You don’t owe Dream any information Tommy, you don’t have to tell him you moved in with me, or why, or anything that you don’t want to.”

“But he’s my friend.” Tommy said, clenching his fists. “I don’t mind him knowing, I just, I don’t want him to –“

He cut himself off that time, annoyed at his own emotions.

Phil sighed. “He wouldn’t think of you any differently, you know?”

Reluctantly pulling himself away from Wilbur, Tommy looked at Phil. “You don’t know that, not for certain.”

“You don’t know anything for certain.” Wilbur said, as if that were going to help.

Techno huffed. “I know for certain that if Dream did treat you any different, I’d punt him.”

That brought a laugh out of Tommy. “Techno, you can’t punt Dream.”

“Pretty sure I can.” Techno said, knocking their shoulders together.

“Oh my God.” Tommy said, running a hand through his hair. “I just left him and Tubbo in a call together.”

“You just left?” Phil asked, a mixture of disbelief and amusement colouring his voice.

Tommy shrugged. “I didn’t know what to say.”

“I can talk to him if you want.” Phil offered. “Either explain or just make him stop asking.”

Tommy shook his head. “I can do it, I just, it’s kind of awkward, isn’t it? Like, what do I even say – hi, Dream, sorry forgot to mention, I live with Techno now because I got kicked out?”

“That would work.” Wilbur said, nodding.

Glaring at him, Tommy tried to contain his frustration. “Sarcasm, Wilbur, I was using sarcasm.”

Phil smiled at him. “Wil’s not wrong, mate, it would work. Do you want someone to sit in the room with you while you talk to him?”

“You’re all busy.” Tommy said, somewhat reluctantly. Though it would be nice to have someone with him, he didn’t want to disrupt their day.

“Phil’s the only one doing anything and anyone can stir a pot.” Wilbur said. “You don’t have to have one of us with you, but the option’s there.”

Biting his lip, Tommy stared at the ceiling for a moment before pulling on Techno’s sleeve and walking out the kitchen. “Come on, you’re the only one he’s scared of anyway.”

Techno followed him to his room without complaint, sitting on Tommy’s bed while Tommy sat on his chair. He heard something scampering after them and smiled as Barney joined them, wagging his tail and bumping his nose into Tommy’s leg before settling down at his feet.

“You got your video on?” Techno asked, shuffling so his back was against the wall.

Tommy shook his head. “No, no one does.”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Techno tilted his head a little. “Didn’t you used to say that it was easier for you to talk to people online when they had their video on? That’s the only reason I ever turned mine on before I moved here.”

“Well, yeah.” Tommy admitted. “But I can’t exactly ask Dream to turn on his video, can I?”

He liked to be able to see people’s expressions when he talked to them, it made it easier to gauge how they were reacting to what he was saying, when he was pushing too far, if he was starting to be too annoying.

“You can ask and if he says no, he says no.” Techno shrugged. “You can’t force him to face reveal but there’s no harm in asking, especially when it’ll make this whole thing easier for you.”

Tommy groaned and spun around to face his computer, pulling his headphones on and going to unmute himself, only to see that he was already unmuted.

“Fuck.” He ran through what Dream and Tubbo might have overheard before burying face in his hands. “Double fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” Techno said, concern dripping from his voice.

Tommy leaned back in his chair. “I forgot to mute when I left the room. Hello Dream.”

“Oh.” Techno said, frowning at Tommy’s computer. “Tell him I have ways to remove his elbows.”

“What-“ There was the sound of something moving from Dream’s mic. “Is that Techno? Did he just threaten to remove my elbows?”

“He can hear you.” Tommy said to Techno, before responding to Dream. “Yes and yes; why, are you scared?”

A familiar grin played at the corner of his mouth as he mocked Dream, glad for the small reprieve before he had to talk about serious stuff.

Dream scoffed. “Of Techno? As if.”

“I don’t know.” Tommy shared a grin with Techno. “Your voice is sounding pretty wobbly there.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard a lot of scared people and you definitely sound scared.” Tubbo added and a moment later Tommy saw his friend’s face filling his screen.

A red bubble on the side of his screen caught his eye – he had messages from Tubbo.

‘ _I’m really super sorry Tommy. I didn’t think._

_Oh you’re back._

_You’re not muted._

_Want me to leave or stay while you talk to Dream?’_

Tommy shook his head, bubbles of fondness warming his chest as he typed back. ‘ _Don’t worry about it Tubbo, I needed to tell Dream I moved anyway. Techno’s here, so you can leave. I’ll talk to you later?’_

‘ _Still wasn’t cool of me to force you into telling him now.’_ Tubbo replied, then: ‘ _Talk to you later man.’_

“Uh, you guys there?” Dream asked, making Tommy realise they’d been silent for a while.

Tommy forced a laugh. “Yeah, just talking about you behind your back, you know how it is.”

“All bad things.” Tubbo nodded. “Alright, I better get going, bye everyone.”

“Bye, Tubbo.” Tommy said, laughing a little at Tubbo’s enthusiastic wave.

“Bye.” Dream said, sounding a little confused.

There was a ping as Tubbo left the call and Tommy looked to Techno in the silence that was left behind, straightening his back and lifting his chin up when Techno nodded at him.

“So Dream,” Tommy started, turning on his camera with a click and then clasping his hands together, “what brings you to my neck of the server?”

He was stalling. He knew he was stalling, Techno knew he was stalling, hell, even Dream probably knew he was stalling.

“Well I was actually going to ask if you’d received any packages recently.” Dream took pity on him. “But Tubbo made it sound like you’d moved, so maybe not?”

Tommy scratched the back of his neck, looking at Techno so he could look at _someone_. “Uh, well, yeah.”

“Look Tommy, you don’t have to tell me anything, okay? I’m happy to hear it, if you feel comfortable telling me, but this is clearly personal and at the end of the day it’s none of my business.” Dream sounded sincere but Tommy knew how good the other man was at changing his tone for the lore streams.

Tommy sighed and looked back at his computer out of habit, freezing when he saw the loading screen that meant Dream was turning his camera on. “Um, Dream, what are you doing?”

He could practically feel Techno’s frown from across the room, clearly concerned about what he could not see.

As Dream started laughing his camera finally loaded and Tommy was greeted by the sight of someone awkwardly waving at him.

“I heard what you and Techno were saying.” Dream shrugged. “It’s not like you’re going to screenshot this and post it on Twitter, I can trust you and if it helps then, why not, you know?”

Tommy half wanted to cover his eyes. “You need better impulse control, you can’t just face reveal to a random teenager from England.”

Techno leaned forward, not far enough to see Tommy’s screen, but clearly interested in what had happened. He raised his eyebrows at Tommy and Tommy nodded back, confirming what Techno had suspected had happened.

Dream laughed, awkwardly looking between his camera and his screen. “You’re not exactly a random teenager, Tommy. Can Techno see me?”

“Not right now.” Tommy glanced at where Techno was sitting on his bed. “Would it be okay if he did?”

“As long as I can see his hair in return.”

“Dream says you can see his face if you can see his hair.” Tommy told Techno.

Standing up, Techno rolled his eyes. “This seems like a bad deal.”

He moved to stand behind Tommy anyway and Tommy turned up the volume of his headphones and then took them off so they could both hear Dream.

Dream let out a startled laugh when he saw Techno. “Somehow I wasn’t expecting it to be that pink.”

“You have a face.” Techno noted thoughtfully. “It is nice to know for sure that you are a real person and not a robot.”

Laughing, Tommy nodded. “My thoughts exactly.”

Dream shook his head at both of them and took a sip of his drink. “So you two are living near each other now? That must be nice.”

Techno moved so he was leaning on the back of Tommy’s chair, one hand resting on Tommy’s shoulder and squeezing reassuringly. He didn’t say anything, apparently following Tommy’s lead.

“Actually we, uh, we live in the same house.” Tommy explained, wishing he had Wilbur’s talent for picking the right words at the right time.

Barney jumped up so his front paws were resting on Tommy’s chair, either feeling left out or sensing Tommy’s discomfort – Tommy didn’t mind which, scratching Barney behind the ears and finding comfort in the repetitive movement.

It was clear Dream was still confused. “Techno moved in with you and your parents? I’m surprised that they allowed that.”

“Not exactly.” Tommy grimaced before trying to grin. “I ran away in the sense that I was told I wasn’t allowed to live with them anymore.”

Realisation dawned on Dream’s face, but he didn’t look any happier for it. “Oh.”

“Wow, Dream.” Techno snorted. “Very eloquent.”

Tommy chuckled, leaning back so his head knocked against Techno’s arm. “Techno hadn’t moved to England yet and somehow I tricked him into letting me find a house and move in with him.”

“As if you could trick me into doing anything.” Techno muttered, ruffling Tommy’s hair.

“Shit, Tommy.” Dream said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. Is there anything I can do? I mean, like – fuck, I didn’t even think – some of the stuff we’ve been doing for the SMP, do you want to change any of it?”

Tommy wasn’t really sure how he’d expected Dream to react, pity or shock or _something_ , but of course Dream had found such a _Dream_ way to react.

He could see why Dream was concerned about the stuff on the SMP, especially with the recent stuff with the exile, but honestly it hadn’t bothered Tommy much. There were similarities between him and the character he played, he knew that, but there were differences too, important ones, and it was those that he focused on at the end of each stream.

Techno squeezed his shoulder again and Tommy realised he’d fallen silent. “Thanks, Dream, there’s nothing you can do but I, um, I appreciate the thought.”

Dream nodded, looking deep in thought. “Yeah, yeah of course. Let me know if that changes.”

“Will do.” Tommy stared down at Barney. “Small problem though, that merch you sent isn’t, exactly, in my possession. Sorry, big man, I should have told you sooner so this didn’t happen.”

“You don’t need to apologise Tommy, none of this is your fault.” Dream sat forward in his chair. “I could probably send a better package now, although it’ll take another month or so to arrive. Consider it a Christmas present.”

Tommy was pretty sure his soul left his body when an alarm started going off near his ear.

“Dinner.” Techno explained, turning off the alarm. “I better go ask Phil if it's ready. That okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a few minutes.” Tommy agreed, smiling at Techno so he knew it really was okay.

Techno nodded. “Bye, Dream, congratulations on proving you’re a real person.”

Dream laughed. “Bye, Techno, nice hair.”

Techno left the room, Barney trailing after him probably hoping for his own dinner.

Putting his headphones back on, Tommy lowered the volume and ran a nervous hand through his hair.

Dream spoke before Tommy could, a mixture of hesitance and determination carrying through his voice. “I know you and Techno are living together, and from the sounds of it Phil is there too, which means Wilbur probably is as well, but uh, if you ever need anything, or want someone to talk to, I’m always free.”

“Thanks Dream.” Tommy pushed away the thoughts of how busy Dream normally was, how he’d be interrupting what was probably a very packed schedule. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

Nodding, something akin to relief tinged Dream’s expression. “And you’re safe now, right?”

Safe.

Tommy had never used to think of himself as someone who was in danger, exactly. Sure, there were days where tensions were high, but as long as he was cautious, then most of the time, he’d be fine.

But when he thought about that day he and Tubbo had been recognised when they were out and had been attacked for it, when he thought about how terrified he’d been at the mere idea of Tubbo being hurt, he’d realised that maybe his idea of safety was skewed.

He hadn’t been safe when he lived with his parents and he knew that now, the unfairness of it all had made his eyes water more than once.

Now though? Tommy didn’t think he’d ever been safer, not with three people downstairs more than ready to protect him.

“Yeah.” Tommy answered, thoughts of Techno and Phil and Wilbur dancing around his mind. “I’m safe now.”

  


Bananas. That was all he’d wanted, just a few bananas.

So how had he ended up on a random street in Brighton, minutes from sunset, his phone almost dead and completely and utterly lost?

He’d forgotten to charge his phone last because he’d fallen asleep on the couch watching a film with the others, so that at least explained why it was almost dead. But he must have been wandering around for at least half an hour for it to have gotten so dark and he honestly hadn’t thought it had been more than ten minutes, listening to Wilbur’s unreleased song on repeat.

Looking around, he realised he had absolutely no idea where he was. He didn’t know if he was close to the beach, or town, or anywhere near home. He’d use the map app on his phone, but that would drain his remaining battery in about thirty seconds and then he’d be just as lost with no way to call for help.

Biting his lip, he swung the bag with the bananas in around, not sure if he should keep trying to find his own way home or risk calling Techno and worrying the man even more than he probably already was.

He had just decided to fuck it and call Techno when his phone started ringing.

Tommy answered it without checking to see who it was. “Hello?”

“Hi, Tommy, Techno was being an idiot so I called you to tell him to stop worrying over nothing.” Wilbur said. “Please tell the overprotective man that you’re not lost and about to be kidnapped.”

“Uh.” Tommy answered, looking at the sky to see if he’d somehow figure out his position from the quickly sinking sun. You were supposed to look at the stars or something weren’t you?

There was a panicked noise from Wilbur. “Tommy, it’s very important you answer those questions.”

“I’m not about to be kidnapped.” Tommy supplied. “Or at least, not that I’m aware of, because I expect that most people who are about to be kidnapped definitely don’t know it, you know?”

“What’s happening?” He heard Phil say over Wilbur’s cursing.

“Tell Phil I’m not _not_ lost.” Tommy told Wilbur. “I could really do with a human GPS around now.”

“You’re on speaker.” Phil explained, sounding much calmer than Wilbur did. “Can you send us your location? We can come and pick you up.”

“My phone’s pretty low, I don’t want to risk using the stupid maps app and draining my battery before I can figure it out.” The stars weren’t being much help either.

There was a jingle of keys and a door shutting, then Techno spoke. “Any big buildings near you? Banks, shops, anything? Street signs?”

“Maybe.” Tommy stood on his tiptoes, trying to see over the seemingly endless rows of houses. “Hold on, yeah, there’s a big building over there, not sure what it is though.”

He picked up his pace, first jogging then full on running in the direction of the building, the bag of bananas knocking against his knees. It wasn’t too far away and before long he was just a street away.

“What’s the building?” Wilbur asked, noticeably calmer than before. “We’re in the car, just need a direction.”

Tommy turned the final corner, breath hitching when he saw where he’d ended up.

“Toms?” Phil asked. “Did you hear Wil? He asked what building it is.”

He cleared his throat but his voice was still hoarse when he spoke. “The train station.”

How long ago was it when Tommy had arrived in Brighton in the middle of the night, injured and officially homeless? He hadn’t had any reason to come back to the train station since then and the sight of it temporarily brought his feet to a halt – maybe it was stupid, but it reminded him of that night.

He’d been on the phone with Wilbur, Phil, and Techno then, too, had been just as reliant on them then to pick him up as he was now.

Only now he knew they would never leave him abandoned on the streets like he had feared all those weeks ago.

There was silence on the other end.

Surprisingly, Techno was the one who broke it. “We’ll be there soon. Are you okay?”

Tommy huffed out a small laugh. “Yeah, I’m good, big man. I uh, I got the bananas I wanted, so life is good, you know? Must have just taken a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in the middle of nowhere, but it happens to even the biggest of men.”

Realising that they’d just been letting him ramble, he glanced down at his phone, only to see it had gone and died on him.

Blowing out a breath, Tommy ran a hand across his face before continuing his walk to the train station – that would be where the others would be expecting him, so that’s where he had to wait.

His feet dragged as he walked and he forced himself to pick up the pace, not wanting the others to arrive before him, not see him, and then leave again to look for him elsewhere.

It didn’t take him long before he was stood next to the very wall he’d sat against when he’d been waiting for them last time.

Maybe it was morbid, to sit down in the same place he had back then, but to Tommy it didn’t feel that way.

His life had changed a lot over the past few months. Christmas was soon, and then it would be the start of a new year, Tommy’s first year completely away from his parents. He wondered if maybe he should be sad, that the people around him had changed, that his relationship with his parents was irreversibly broken.

If he was supposed to be sad, he couldn’t manage it.

Bringing his knees up to his chest, he thought about what his life could have been. It was strange to think about – if his parents had ever given a shit, or even just never kicked him out. Would he still be so close to Wilbur, Phil, and Techno?

He liked to think he would be. That they’d have found a way to invade his life.

He pulled his coat around him tighter, snuggling into the warmth it provided.

The sound of a car parking made him stand up, waving as the three of them stumbled out of Wilbur’s car.

Wilbur was the first to reach him, arms wide open in an offer Tommy couldn’t refuse. He threw himself into Wilbur, the hug providing far more warmth than his coat had, the bag of bananas hitting Wilbur in the back as Tommy wrapped his arms around him.

They’d gotten to the train station quicker than Tommy remembered from last time, but that might just be because his and Techno’s house was closer than Wilbur’s apartment.

He pulled away from Wilbur, grinning at Techno and Phil. There was something in his chest, closure maybe – whatever it was, it made him feel like nothing could reach him.

“You alright, Toms?” Phil asked, smiling at him like he already knew the answer.

“I’m great.” Tommy replied and for the first time in a long time, the words didn’t leave the bitter taste of a stretched truth in his mouth. “My phone died.”

Techno hummed. “We thought so. You ready to go home?”

“Yeah.” His grin softened, thinking of the house they’d picked out together, the place he was welcome no matter what. “Yeah, I am.”

Tomorrow would bring a new day and he knew that, knew that there were more challenges he would face in his future, but they didn’t seem so scary. Not anymore.

Somehow, the three people around him had firmly situated themselves as his family, and Tommy knew that they meant more to him than any building ever would. 

Tommy might live in a house, but Wilbur, Phil, and Techno? They were his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huh. Guess that's it. 
> 
> I'll be posting an extended author's note on my Tumblr, where I'll give some fun facts and also just talk about the series a bit? Defining Home has been a journey for me and I have probably too many feelings about it, so if you're interested in that, head over to my Tumblr [@piteouspeculiarity](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/piteouspeculiarity) where it'll be pinned. 
> 
> I'm so grateful to everyone that has read this series, Enough was my first fic in the fandom and you all welcomed me with open arms. You've been huge motivators to write and I think that's very poggers of you all <3
> 
> For those of you that don't want to read the extended version of this on my Tumblr, I'd just like to say here that I don't plan on continuing this series. I explain it more there, in a very rambled way, but Defining Home feels very complete to me and whilst I appreciate that some of you have connections to the characters, I think that this is a good end to the series and anything more would ruin that. 
> 
> I've said it before and I'll say it again, keep yourselves safe <3


End file.
